Big brother with Harry potter characters
by lozza1989
Summary: Sixteen Harry potter characters plus an OC Housemate go into the Big Brother house and take part in the tasks. DO NOT FLAME!
1. Chapter 1

The housemates,what's in the house and the rules

Author's note- I do not own anything in the story, they are all property of warner brothers and channel four, but the special guest housemate is my own.

Housemate number one-Harry Potter-Age-seventeen-occupation-wizard, but must behave like a muggle during his time in the big brother house and wear ordinary muggle clothes.

Housemate number two-Ron weasley-Age-seventeen-occupation-wizard but like Harry, has to behave like a muggle and wear muggle clothing.

Housemate number three-Hermione granger-Age-seventeen-occupation-witch but has to do the same as the two above, act like a muggle.

Housemate number three-Ginny weasley-Age-sixteen-occupation-witch and the younger sister of Ron weasley.

Housemate number four-Albus Dumbledore-Age-two hundred years-occupation-headmaster of hogwarts and sometimes mistaken as santa claus by small muggle children.

Housemate number five-Severus snape-age-unknown (refused to give his age)-occupation-potions master and never washes his hair.

Housemate number six-minerva mcgonogal-age-seventy-occuptation-deputy headmitress of hogwarts and is very close to Albus dumbledore.

Housemate number seven-rubeus hagrid-age-fifty two-occuptation-gameskeeper at hogwarts and is a whopping eight feet tall.

Housemate number eight-lord voldemort-age-unknown(when we asked his age, he told us to mind our own buisness and refused)-occupation-dark lord who is determined on destroying Harry potter.

Housemate number nine-Lucious malfoy-age-unknown(like voldemort, refused to give his age)-occupation-death eater and best friends with lord voldemort.

Housemate number ten-Draco malfoy-age-seventeen-occupation-trainee death eater and son Lucious Malfoy

Housemate number eleven-Fred weasley-age-nineteen-occupation-prankster and troublemaker, older brother of Ron and ginny weasley.

Housemate number twelve- George weasley-age-nineteen-occupation-prankster and troublemaker, twin brother of fred weasley, older brother of Ron and Ginny weasley.

Housemate number thirteen-Dolores umbridge-age-unknown(refused to give age) occupation-former teacher of hogwarts, pain in the ass.

Housemate number fourteen- Argus filch-unknown (refused to give age)occupation-Hogwarts care taker and creepy lurker.

Housemate number fifteen- Mrs norris-age-three (in cat years) occupation-pet cat of Argus filch.

Housemate number sixteen-Vernon Dursley age-forty four-occupation-Harry potter's bastard of an uncle and is rather obese.

Special guest house mate number seventeen-Charlotte parker-age-twelve-occupation-muggle schoolgirl who is the youngest person ever enter the big brother house. She has promised to do her schoolwork during her time in the house so she doesn't miss out on anything. Her parents are going to be living in a flat round the corner from the big brother house during her time there.

The house will feature the following during the story.

The diary room where the other housemates can come and bitch about the other housemates in the housemates, be set tasks by the big brother team or recieve punishments.

The living area where the housemates can hang around and gossip about anything except anything that is inapproriate and racist.

The kitchen where the housmates must make their food and other things that are eatable.

The bedroom where the housemates sleep or lazy about in.

The dining area where the housemates eat their breakfast, dinner and lunch.

The garden where the housemates can go and hang out in if the weather is not bad and it is also the area where various tasks will be set.

The snug area is an area that is situated in the garden where housemates can basicly hang about in and snooze on the sofas if they are feeling a little tired and can't be bothered to walk all the way to the bedroom.

The animal area which is situated in the garden and features the following, Rabbits, Ginea pigs, Hamsters and chickens.

The naughty corner which is situated in the garden and is where housemates will be sent if they misbehave or break any of the rules.

The Tree of temptation which is situated in the garden and will give various housmates secret tasks and if they pass, the tree will give them something in return but if they fail,refuse or tell the other housemates about the task, they will face the wrath of the tree of temptation.

The bathroom and toilet where the housemates can go to get a wash or if they need to use the toilet.

Now for the rules

Rule one-racism is not tolerated in the Big brother house and anyone using anything that is racist will be punished straight away.

Rule two-all housemates must take part in any tasks that are given to them.

Rule three-No Housemate is to walk around the house in the nude otherwise they will be punished.

Rule four-All housemates are not to discuss nominations at any time during their stay in the Big brother house or punishment will be taken imediatly.

Coming up in chapter two, the housemates arrive and you'll get to see what they have to say about the Big Brother house.


	2. The housemates arrived

The Housmates arrive

Harry potter enters the Big brother house dressed in a baggy t-shirt and jeans. He was wearing a rugsack on his back and looks around the sitting area.

"Wow, this living room is really big" he mumbled to himself as he sat down on one of the really comfy sofas. He put his rugsack at his feet and sat back with his hands behind his head.

"I wonder who else is coming into the Big Brother house?" Harry wondered to himself as he chilled out on the sofa and hummed a random tune before slowly dozing off. A few minutes later, the second House mate, Ron weasley had entered the big brother house and found Harry who had fallen asleep on the sofa.

"He's been in here for five minutes and he's already fallen asleep " Ron muttered to himelf. He walked over to his friend and shook him awake.

"What, what's going on, is there a fire?" Harry asked in a panicked voice before he noticed Ron stood in front of him "Oh Ron it's you and why did you do that?"

"You fell asleep mate" Ron replied.

"I did not" Harry denied "I was resting my eyes." Ron chuckled and sat down next to Harry on the sofa.

"You've been in here for five minutes and already you fall asleep, don't tell me you're getting bored already."

"No" Harry replied "I was up since four this morning because Uncle vernon woke me up."

"Really?" Ron aksed "how?"

"By farting" Harry replied as Ron failed to keep a straight face and burst into laughter.

"Hahahahaha, it must have been one hell of a let off" Ron laughed.

"Well he did eat three tins of baked beans before he went to bed" Harry replied. Ron was rolling around on the floor laughing for a full two minutes as the third Housemate, Hermione Granger entered dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans.

"What is so amusing Ron?" she asked as she sat down and watched as ron managed to console himself.

"Harry's Uncle, farting" Ron chuckled.

"Well I don't find that at all funny" Hermione scoffed "and laughing about someone letting one off is rather childish if I say so myself." She picked up a magazine and began reading it. Ron wiped the tears from his eyes and sat next to Harry.

"I can see who's going to be the boringist housemate in here" Ron whispered and nodding in Hermione's direction who had her head stuck in the magazine which was named "Big Brother monthly magazine." The next housemate to arrive in the house was Ginny weasley.

"Can some one give me a hand with this suitcase, it's really heavy" she called as she dragged a really heavy suitcase behind her. Harry offered to help her and asked her where she wanted to put it.

"In the bedroom" Ginny replied as Harry picked up one end and Ginny picked up the other end before carrying it into the bedroom and setting it down at the end of Ginny's bed then walking back into the sitting area.

"Is rather big this sitting area "Ginny replied "I'm going to see what's in the garden." The youngest weasley had entered the garden and saw the animal area.

"Oh my god" she shrieked "Bunny rabbits." She walked over to the animal area, sat down and watched the cute animals that were in there play around. Ron was stood at the window watching her.

"Man, I hope she doens't spend the entire time here gawping at those animals" Ron muttered. The next housemate to enter was Albus Dumbledore.

"Hi Dumbledore" Harry said.

"Hello Harry my boy" Dumbledore replied, sitting at the dining table "hello Ron, hello Hermione."

"Hi proffesor" Ron said who was still watching his younger sister play with the animals.

"Good day proffesor" Hermione replied not looking up from her magazine.

"What are looking at Mr Weasley?" Dumbledore asked, noticing Ron looking out of he window.

"Ginny, proffesor" Ron replied "she's out in the garden watching the animals in the animal area."

"Ah" Dumbledore replied "so there are animals here and miss weasley has taken a liking to them." The housemate to arrive shortly after Dumbledore was serverus snape and he looked sinister.

"Is this all?" he mumbled "where are the others?"

"What others?" Harry asked.

"The other people who are supposed to be taking part in this ridiculas muggle tv show and don't question me potter" Snape barked.

"Well Ginny weasley is outside with the animals and the rest haven't arrived yet you big nosed idiot" Harry replied.

"How dare you" Snape barked "I am going to give you the biggest detention of you life."

"Oh go buy some conditioner and shampoo you greasy haired git" Harry spat back which made Snape go red in the face.

"Why you insolent little idiot" Snape fumed, his eyes burning with rage.

"Now now you two" Dumbledore said calmy "stop this at once." Harry and snape glared at each other before Snape went to sulk in the corner and Harry flopped back on the sofa. Ron came to sit back on the sofa with Harry after getting bored of watching Ginny play with the animals.

"Snape has got issues" Harry whispered to his red headed chum.

"Tell me something I don't know" Ron whispered back just as McGonogal entered the house.

"Ah Minerva my dear" Dumbledore greeted "come and sit over here." McGonogal nodded and sat with Dumbledore at the dining table just as Ginny walked back into the sitting area.

"Oh my gosh, those animals are so cute" she squeaked.

"And you're annoying" Ron replied with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh shut up Ron and grow up" Ginny replied before going to sit with Hermione who still was reading the "Big brother monthly magazine."

"Can I have a look after when you've finished?" Ginny asked.

"yeah" Hermione nodded, not taking her eye of the magazine. The next person to walk in the big brother house was Rubeus hagrid who had to duck down the get through the door.

"Blimey" he said, looking around the room "this is a big place isn't it?"

"Hi Hagrid" Ron greeted "come and sit over here with us."

"Will do" Hagrid replied walking over to the sofa. He sat on it and it caused the sofa to tip up slightly up and Ron and Harry slid down it and into Hagrid.

"Sorry about that?" the half giant said. Ginny couldn't help but giggle. When the next housemate, Voldemort walked in, the others except for Snape screamed in fear.

"Idiots" Voldemort mumbled as Snape walked up tp him.

"Welcome my lord" he said with a bow "how may I be of service?"

"You may take my bags into the bedroom serverus" Voldemort ordered "I am going to chill out for a while." he walked over to the sofa where Ron, Harry and Hagrid were sat and ordered them all to move of the sofa so he could chill out on it.

"No" harry replied "we was here first."

"Two right" Ron spat.

"Go sit on your ruddy own" hagrid replied. Voldemort cursed under his breath and sat crosssed legged on the floor in a sulk. Snape came back from putting Voldemort's bags in the bedroom and went to sulk with him. The next housemate to enter the Big Brother house was Lucius Malfoy. His long blond hair was braided.

"Hmmmmm" he said looking around the room "not exatly what I had in mind, but I'm sure it will do nicely." He walked over to Hermione and snatched the magazine she was reading from her hands.

"Oi I was reading that" Hermione yelled as she went to hit Lucius but got held back by Ginny.

"Oh do control yourself mudblood" he sneered "don't want you getting kicked out on the first day do we?" he chuckled evily and walked away. An Angry Hermione went to hit him but Ginny held her back.

"leave it Herm" she said "he's not worth it." After Lucius had entered, his Son Draco came following behind.

"Ohno" groaned Ron "Two malfoys, that's all we need."

"Father" Draco whined "I'm hungry."

"Go and see what's in the kitchen Draco" Lucius replied who was discussing evil stuff with Snape and Voldemort "I'm rather busy here." Draco grumbled and went into the kitchen to fix himself a corn beef sandwich.

"This is all we need" Ron moaned "the Malfoy father and son duo." Two more housemates arrived shortly after Draco. It was Fred and George weasley.

"They were talking about coming on here but I didn't think they meant it" Ron whispered to Harry.

"Look at this place Fred" George said in a chirpy tone .

"I know, I think I'm going to like it here" George replied before the pair of them kicked off their shoes and started jumping on one of the sofas and high fiving in mid jump. Ginny could only watch amd snicker at their antics.

"They're both nineteen and they both act like nine year olds" Ron muttered to Harry and rolling his eyes in a sarcastic manner. After the twins had arrived, the next housemate Dolores umbridge walked in, dressed in her usual pink atire.

"Oh man what she doing here?" Harry groaned.

"Oh, look at you all, sitting their and smiling up at me" she said in her fake sweet voice. Ron stuck his finger in his mouth and made a retching noise.

"If she tries to take over this place, I'm leaving" McGonogal whispered to Dumbledore.

"Don't worry my dear" wise old Dumbledore said "I think the big brother people will punish her if she tries to take over the entire show." Umbridge walked over to the sofa where Hermione and Ginny were sat and asked if she could sit down with them. The girls only replied by shrugging their shoulders and Umbridge took that as a yes and sat inbetween them. Ginny almost choked on the amount of perfume that Umbridge was wearing.

The housemate after umbrdige to Arrive was Filch. He stalked in the house, carrying Mrs Norris in his arms.

"Oh what is that squib doing here?" Draco yelled, his mouth full off corn beef sandwich. Filch grumbled and sat at the dining table, still holding Mrs Norris.

"I can't believe Draco just said that to his face" Ron whispered.

"I know" Harry replied. Finally, uncle vernon walked into the house, his big beefy frame bulging from under his coat.

"What are you doing here?" Harry groaned.

"Don't you remember boy, I too applied for this show" Uncle vernon growled, bits of salavia flying off his mouth and landing on Harry, Ron, and Hagrid's faces.

"Say it don't spray it" Ron muttered.

"Where's dudley and Aunt petunia?" Harry asked.

"Dudley's recieved twenty asbos and has been sent to bootcamp for setting fire to a theme park and Aunt petunia didn't want to take part because she is depressed about dudley's behaviour" Vernon spat. Soon, the voice over woman began speaking to the housemates.

"Hello housemates and welcome to Big brother, during your time in the house, you will obey by the rules and get along with your fellow housemates. Housemates who do not obide by the rules will be punished imedietly. The first task will take place tomorrow and the special guest housemate will be arriving tomorrow aswell. So enjoy you're time in the big Brother house."

"I cannot wait" Draco muttered sarcasticly.

Coming up in chapter three, The special guest Housemate Charlotte arrives, the Housemates take part in a fish gutting task, the tree of temptation makes it's first appearance and sets Voldemort a secret task, will he do the task or will he face the wrath of the tree of temptation? Find out in the next chapter.


	3. Day one

Day one

Morning

The housemates where all still in bed. Ron was laid flat on his back with his mouth wide open and snoring rather loudly and Hermione had but a pair of cotton buds in her ears to block out his snoring. They had been asleep for half an hour when the alarm went off which was a demonic laugh and it seemed to amuse only Snape, Lucius, Draco and Voldemort.

"Ahhhhhh" Voldemort said as he got out of bed "now that's what I love to hear first thing in a morning, I could get used tot his place." He put on his vampire slippers and headed into the front room.

After everyone had gotten out of bed, the Housemates were all sat at the dining table eating breakfast which was cornflakes.

"This is big brother" the voice over woman announced as they all dug into their cornflakes "as you are aware that the special guest housemate will be arriving shortly. Big brother would like you all to look presentable and be very welcoming to our special guest houseamte." After breakfast, the housemates were all dressed and sat in the sitting room to wait for the special guest housemate to arrive.

"I wonder who it's going to be?" Ron wondered.

"Oh I hope it's going to be some fit bird" George said hopefully.

"So you can flirt continuelsy with them?" Ginny asked sarcasticly. George stuck his tongue out at her. After waiting for about half an hour, the final housemate arrived and they were all shocked.

The new housemate was the youngest out of them all. She looked about twelve, maybe thirteen years old with strawberry blonde hair that was tied up in a ponytail and she was dressed in a red hooded sweater and a pair of jeans.

"Is this the special guest housemate?" Draco demanded "some kid dressed in chavvy clothing."

"Don't be so mean Draco" Hermione snapped before walking up to the girl and introducing herself.

"I really like the name Hermione" the girl said "I'm Charlotte by the way, charlotte parker."

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but arn't you a little young to be taking part in Big brother?" Hermione asked.

"I got permission to go into the house as part as a school project" Charlotte replied "the whole time I'm here, I've got to take notes on what's going on in the house and then show the results to my teacher when I leave."

"So you're doing a school project based on Big brother?" Hermione asked. Charlotte smiled and nodded.

"Well I think that's a good idea" Hermione said.

"I know" charlotte replied "where's the bedroom, I want to put my stuff in there." Hermione pointed Charlotte in the direction of the bedroom.

Meanwhile, Filch had gone to take a look around the bathroom as he had never set foot in one before and didn't know what it was for. He came across a bottle of shampoo which was sitting on the shelf, so he walked over to it picked it up and got confused.

"What is this stuff?" he muttered to himself, trying to figure out what it was for. Shortly, Snape came walking into the bathroom.

"Here serverus" Filch said showing him the bottle of shampoo "what is this?" Snape walked up to the bottle of shampoo and examined it briefly.

"Hmm, it looks like some sort of potion" snape said "but what for?." The two heard a giggle behind them and turned aroudn to see Charlotte leaning against the door frame, arms folded and giggling.

"What's so funny girl?" Filch spat.

"It's not potion" charlotte giggled "it's shampoo." Both Filch and snape looked at the twelve year old housemate with confusion.

"What's it for?" Snape asked. Charlotte loooked at them both with a weirded out confusion.

"You use it to wash your hair silly" she giggled.

"How does that work?" Filch asked.

"You put some shampoo in your hair, mix it about until it covers your whole hair and then rinse it out with some water" Charlotte explained while trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh, that sounds abit too much of a hassle, I don't think I'll bother giving it a try" Filch said.

"Me neither" Snape replied "it's too much messing about." They both left the bathroom and Charlotte stood there, giggling slightly.

Afternoon

That afternoon, the housemates were all taking part in a fish gutting task. They were all sat around the dining table dressed in white overalls, hair nets and in front of them was a pile of raw fish. Their goal was the cut them and pull the guts out which sounded revolting and made Ginny quite sqeamish, but she didn't chicken out. However, Voldemort was the only person who refused to take part in the task.

"There is no way I am doing this task" he declared furiously "I've got more important things to worry about, like world domination."

"Look Voldemort" McGonogal snapped "you have got to take part in the task whether you like it or not."

"Shut up old woman" Voldemort snapped.

"This is big brother, will Voldemort please come to the Diary room." Voldemort huffed and walked off the the Diary room. When he arrived, he flopped sulkily into the chair.

"Hello Voldemort" the diary room woman said.

"Hello" Voldemort replied simply.

"Lord Voldemort,just now, you refused to take part in the fish gutting task, therefore you shall be punished." Voldemort growled furiously.

"As result of your punishment, you must sit in the naughty corner which is situated in the garden for half an hour then report back to the Diary room to recieve the Dumbass hat which you must were for the remainder of the day, is that understood?" the woman asked.

"Suppose so" Voldemort growled.

"Voldemort, you may now leave the Diary room and go sit in the naughty corner." Growling, Voldemort walked out of the diary room and past the rest of the housemates who were half way through fish gutting.

"Oh it stinks" charlotte pointed out.

"I feel sick" Ginny said.

"This is awful" Ron moaned. Voldemort growled at them before slunking miserbly into the Garden and sitting in the Naughty corner which was situated near the animal pen. The bunny rabbits all stared at him.

"What are you looking at?" he growled at the bunnies "go away and stop bothering me because I hate bunnies."

After the fish gutting task was over, Charlotte was stood near the glass sliding doors and saw Voldemort sat in the naughty corner with a face like a smacked arse.

"Why is he sat in the corner of the garden sulking like that?" she asked.

"I think he's been punished for refusing to do the task, so now he has to sit in the naughty corner" Ron explained. Hlaf an hour later, Voldemort reported back to the diary room to recieve the Dumbass hat which he had to wear on his head for the remainder of the day. It was a black top hat with the words Dumbass embroided on the front in glitter.

"You cannot be serious" he said as he placed the hat on his head.

"Voldemort, you have been punished" the woman in the Diary room said "you are not to take off the hat until your bedtime." Mumbling something offensive, Voldemort walked out of the Diary room and into the front room where everyone except for Snape, Draco and Lucius laughed at his hat.

"Oh go on laugh" he said sarcasticly "it's funny isn't it?." He walked out into the garden and slammed the sliding doors behind him.

"Oooooooh" the twins said in a camp voice.

In the garden, Voldemort was leaning agaisnt the wall and swore he could hear somebody talking to him.

"Psssst, Voldemort." The Dark lord looked around to see where the voice was coming from and discovered it was coming from the tree at the other end of the garden with the glass door in it's trunk.

"What the?" Voldemort muttered "they've got a talking tree on this god damn tv show?"

"Just act as you are doing now" the tree continued "don't let anyone know you're talking to the tree of tempatation."

"Why bother, I don't want to make the other housemates think I've gone mad by talking to a tree" Voldemort grumbled.

"Voldemort, if you want, I can put an end to your punishment, but you must do something for me" the tree continued.

"Like what?" Voldemort grumbled.

"Voldie, I want you to get the other lot to sit down and tell them a big secret about yourself" the tree replied.

"Oh yeah" Voldemort replied, not making eye contact with the tree "like what?"

"I want you to tell the other lot that in your spare time, you like to act like a girl which includes dressing up as a girl, playing with barbie dolls and listening to the barbie girl song while you're doing it" the tree instructed.

"What?" Voldemort snapped "you must be joking?"

"Volders, if you complete the task, I will put an end to your punishment" the tree said "but if you fail, you will face the wrath of the tree of temptation.

"Oh I'm scared" Voldemort said sarcasticly.

"So are you're going to do it?" the tree asked.

"Well if it saves me from getting another punishment then yeah" Voldemort replied.

"Good man Voldie, now piss off and get on with it." the tree replied before Voldemort turned around on his heels and walked back into the house.

"Alright you lot, sit down I have something to say" he told all the housemates.

"You've decided to leave" Ron said as his friends giggled.

"No" Voldemort snapped "just sit down so I can tell you." The housemates all sat in the front room and Voldemort stood before them all.

"Now I have a big confession to make" Voldemort said "now you lot don't know what I get up when I have a day off from world domination."

"What do you do?" Ginny asked.

"Well" Voldemort continued "when I'm not busy plotting for world domination, I like to behave like a girl." There was silence for two seconds then all of the housemates started laughing.

"Is it true?" George giggled.

"It is, I like to act like a girl in my spare time. I like to wear girly wigs, dresses, make up, high heels and play with Barbie dolls" Voldemort continued "and whilst doing this, I like to play Barbie girl over and over again."

"Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked "is this some sort of task that big brother has set you or have you been drinking what the muggles call vodka?"

"It's neither old man" Voldemort snapped "I have just confessed my favourite hobbie, now if you excuse me, I'm going to pet the bunnies" and he walked back outside.

"Did you do it?" the tree of temptation asked Voldemort.

"Yes" Voldemort .

"Good man voldewart" the tree replied.

"It's voldemort" Voldemort growled.

"Whatever" the tree said "anyway, your punishment has ended, but keep the hat on anyway."

"Why?" Voldemort demanded.

"Because it suits you" the tree replied.

"Why you" Voldemort seethed "if I was allowed use magic, I'd change you into a coffee table right here, right now"

"I'll still be able to do my job though" the tree replied "I'll just be known as the coffee table of temptation instead."

Evening

That evening, all the housemates were in the bedroom discussing Voldemort's fake confession.

"I never knew he was into that stuff" Charlotte whispered to Ginny "he doesn't seem the type."

"Snore" said Ron who was fast asleep.

"I can't believe Voldemort confessed that to everyone" Hermione whispered.

"Maybe it's been playing on his mind all day and needed to get it out of his system" Harry suggested.

"Maybe he feels better now that he's got it out of his system" Ginny suggested. They talked for half an hour before going to sleep.

Coming up in chapter four, the housemates tease Voldemort about his fake confesssion and one of the Hamsters from the animal area vanishes, could Mrs norris have something to do with it? Find out in the next chapter.


	4. Day two

Day 2

Morning

At the minute, the housemates were all in bed except for the weasley twins who were already up and making fun of Voldemort.

"I wonder if he bought any high heels with him" Fred wondered.

"Maybe" George replied as he tried hard to keep a straight face but found it otherwise impossible "maybe he'll parade around the house in a dress." Soon, the demonic laughter alarm sounded and the rest of the housemates all woke up.

"This is big brother, the two housemates who are making breakfast this morning are Hermione and Draco" Big Brother announced.

"Not with that mudblood" Draco pointed out "I'd rather kiss a hippogriff." Hermione wasn't to keen on making breakfast with Draco either but she didn't dare hesitate and shortly went into the kitchen with Draco. As the others were waiting for their breakfast, Fred and George were teasing Voldemort about the day before.

"Would you like us to put on your nail polish, lady Volderetta?" George asked as Fred snickered.

"Shut up" Voldemort growled.

"Awww, is madam upset?" Ron asked who had decided to join in with the teasing.

"I am not a madam" Voldemort raged "now just shut up about it alright."

"Awww, no need to cry volderetta" Harry teased.

"Don't you start potter" Voldemort warned, pointing a finger at Harry "or I'll kill you right here, right now. I don't care if it's a god damn muggle tv show and that a million viewers are probably watching, I'll kill you and the viewers will witness it all." A few minutes later, Hermione and Draco had cooked up the breakfast of the day which was a big greasy fry up.

"I cannot eat this" Umbridge scoffed "it's too greasy and fattening."

"Look" Hermione snapped "me and Draco have just served for ages cooking up this breakfast, the least you can do is be greatful that you're getting fed." Umbridge gave Hermione an evil look before relunctantly eating her big fat greasy fry up.

Meanwhile in the garden, Mrs norris was pottering around when she set her eyes on the hamsters and eying them up hungrily, stalked over to the animal area.

Back in the house, Voldemort was still getting teased by Fred, George, Harry and Ron about the fake confession he told them yesterday.

"Would you like me to make you a new dress, lady volderetta?" Ron asked "I have some fine sewing equiptment to make the most perfect dress for a fine dame like yourself."

"For the last time" Voldemort seethed "I do not want you to make me a dress, now shut up about it ok?"

"Ok then lady volderetta" Hary said "how about a manicure instead, those hands look as though they need one."

"Grrrrrr" Voldemort said "will you just shut up. I don't want to hear any more on the subject ok." He snarled and stormed off into the bedroom to sulk.

Back in the garden, Charlotte was wondering around, writing down what was in the garden when she noticed something very perculiar about the animal area. It seemed to be missing one of the Hamsters because there was three instead of four.

"That's odd" she muttered "I could have sworn there was four hamsters in here yesterday." She turned around and headed back into the house to inform the others.

"What are you talking about child?" Umbridge asked when Charlotte informed the other housemates on the news about the missing hamster.

"One of the hamsters has vanished, yesterday there was four and now there's only three" Charlotte pointed out.

"Maybe it went into the little house they've got in the animal area" Hermione reassured the youngest housemate "there's no need to worry Charlotte."

"Maybe you're right" Charlotte replied.

Afternoon

All the housemates were sat at the dining table having dinner and today it was fish and chips. Filch was trying to feed Mrs Norris some of his fish, but she turned her nose up at it.

"What's the matter my sweet?" Filch cooed "it's not like you to not want any of master's lunch, are you not feeling very well?"

"Meow" Mrs Norris responded. She was looking a little fatter than usual and looked rather tired.

"I say" Ginny told Hagrid "Mrs norris looks a little fatter than this morning, do you reckon it's something she ate?"

"Don't know" Hagrid replied as Mrs Norris stood up and went to use her kitty litter which was situated in the kitchen. She appeared a few minutes later, looking a little better.

"So that what must have been wrong with the poor kitty" George said "she needed a poo." Mrs Norris walked up to filch and jumped on his knee.

"Are you feeling better my sweet?" he cooed, stroking the top of Mrs Norris's head who purred in response.

"So, who's turn is it to wash up?" Ginny asked.

"Charlotte and Harry" Ron said as he woffled down three chips at the same time. After dinner, Harry and Charlotte went into the kitchen to wash the dishes.

"Alright Charlotte, I'll wash the dishes , then you dry them and put them back in the cupboard" Harry instructed.

"Will do" Charlotte replied with a salute "just let me get a dish glove." Harry nodded and Charlotte went to pick up as dish cloth which was lying on the counter. On her way back to the sink, she passed Mrs norris's kitty litter and what she saw in it made her scream.

"What's wrong?" harry asked, rushing to her side.

"Look in the kitty litter" Charlotte gasped in horror, pointing to what looked liked a dead hamster "what is it?"

"That's a hamster " Harry replied.

"It's one of the hamsters from animal area" charlotte gasped "I think Mrs Norris ate it, then pooped it back out." Soon, it didn't take long for the rest of the housemates to discover what had happened to the missing hamster.

"So the cat ate it big deal" Draco said, throwing his hands up in the air "it's just a silly hamster."

"It's one of the pet hamsters off Big brother" Ginny snapped.

"She was hungry" Filch replied " wasn't you my sweet?"

"Meow" Mrs Norris repsonded.

"So what" Hermione spat "it was one of the Big brother pets and your cat ate it." Filch only sneered at her in response. Charlotte seemed to be affected more than anyone else because she was the youngest.

"We have a plan" George announced "don't we fred?"

"Indeed we do" Fred replied.

"What do you intent to do?" Charlotte asked.

"You'll see kid" George replied as Fred went into the kitchen and came out, carrying the dead Hamsters.

"Oh my god that is discusting" Draco pointed out "you do know that it came out of a cat's arse."

"I'll wash my hands after" Fred snapped as he layed the hamster on the table and took out his wand.

"What's he doing?" Charlotte whipsered to Ron.

"You'll see" Ron whipsered back. Charlotte watched as Fred said some strange words, hit the Hamster with his wand and it came back to life, much to Charlotte's amazement.

"Wow" she gasped "how did you do that?"

"Wizardry kid" Goerge replied "one hundred percent wizardry." Charlotte was speechless and looked at Fred.

"Are you telling me, that you're a wizard?" she asked Fred who nodded proudly.

"I am, and so is George and everyone else in here" Fred replied. Charlotte gasped and turned to the other housemates.

"You lot can do magic?" She asked.

"Well I can't because I'm a bloody squib" Filch growled.

"He means that he was born into a wizarding family but cannot do magic" Ron whispered to Charlotte who was more amazed than shocked, not only was she in the Big brother house , but with a bunch of wizards too.

"This is so cool, you know, I'm going to write a novel on this for my class project" Charlotte announced.

"What's it going to be about?" Ginny asked.

"It's going to be about an ordinary girl who goes to live in a big house with a group of wizards and they all play games and stuff" Charlotte replied.

"We've got a mini Granger in here" Draco whispered to Lucius "except she's a muggle."

"Well I think that's a good idea" Hermione said "I like your whole idea on this school project."

"Thanks Hermione" Charlotte replied "now if you'll excuse me, I'm going put the hamster back in the animal area with the others." She picked up the Hamster that had been bought back to life and carried it outside.

Evening

That evening, the Housemates were all chilling out. Snape, Voldemort and Lucius were in the snug, talking about Charlotte.

"I can't believe she's going to write a story about us" Voldemort pointed out "I don't want all her little school friends to know about my excistance, Although it would be rather interested, then I strike fear into those little muggle brats, bwahahahahahahahaha."

"So, have you guys got any ideas on world domination?" Lucius suggested.

"I know" Snape pointed out "we could build a mind controlling machine thingy and control the whole world. Make everyone do our bidding."

"Oh you so full of shit serverus" Voldemort screamed, throwing a cushion and Snape's head.

"Says the man who likes to dress as a woman in his spare time" Snape spat. Voldemort went into a rage and stormed off out of the snug.

"Where are you going my lord?" Lucius asked.

"To bed" Voldemort snapped before stomping off across the garden and back into the house.

"So snape, fancy a game a poker?" Lucius suggest, getting out a deck of cards.

"It would be my pleasure" Snape replied.

Coming up in chapter five, Umbridge and McGonogal compete in the ultimate dance off, Draco sets fire to one of beds plus Dumbledore get's drunk after sampling some vodka, all to come in chapter five.


	5. Day three

Day three

Morning

That morning in the Big Brother house, the ones that were up and in the living room were Harry, Vernon, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Charlotte , Ginny, Hagrid, Fred, George and McGonogal. The rest of the housemates were all still in bed because they were up late the night before and slept through the demonic laughter alarm, even though Big Brother had been constanly playing it over and over again.

"Alright, Alright we're getting up" Snape growled as Lucius threw a cushion at the cameras. When the lazy Housemates entered the living area, Ron put on a cheesy grin.

"Nice to see that you lazy lot have finally decided to rise from your pits" he said in a sarcastic way.

"Shut your trap weasley" Lucius snapped.

"It would be my pleasure" said Ron with a sarcastic bow. Meanwhile, Draco was still in the bedroom and was waving his wand around.

"Booga wooga, bang bang whizz pop pop zang bang woppy doppy" he muttered, hitting Ron's bed with his wand.

Back in the Dining room, the Housemates were sat having beans on toast for Breakfast and Vernon was the first to notice that Draco was missing.

"Hey, where's that blonde douche?" Vernon asked "he should be here having breakfast with the rest of us."

"I'd like to remind you that that blonde douche is my son" Lucius pointed out and pointing a knife threatenigly at Vernon.

"Are you trying to scare me because it's not working" Vernon spat, bits of baked beans flying out of his mouth. Suddenly, the fire alarm went off.

"Fire" Screamed Ron "the Big Brother house is on fire." There was smoke coming from the bedroom and the housemates all scarpered to find Ron's bed up in flames and Draco stood next to it with a satisfied smirk.

"My bed" Ron bellowed "what have you done to me bed?"

"Surprise" Draco replied with an evil smirk.

"Quick, put it out before the spreads through the entire house" Charlotte yelled. Ginny ran out of the room to get the fire extinguisher while ron was going mad at Draco.

"That's my bed you arsehole" Ron yelled "why the hell did you do that?"

"Because I felt like it" Draco replied "and basicly because I hate you." Ginny reappeared with fire extinguisher and used it to put the fire out. Ron's bed now had a big black burn stain on it.

"Look at my bed" Ron squeaked "my bed is burnt." Draco only rolled his eyes.

"Oh get over it weasel, it's just a bloody bed" Draco replied "I'm sure you'll be comfortable on the floor because that's all you sleep on in your house." Ron was seeing red and had the urge to kick Draco in the unmentionables but Hermione advised him not to as it could make things worse.

"This is Big brother, will Draco malfoy please come to the Diary room"

"Oh bless my soul" said Draco "I have be summond." He gave off a satisfied smirk and walked out of the bedroom with his arms folded.

"I could kill him" Ron seethed.

Meanwhile in the Diary room, Draco was leaning back in the chair, arms folded and not caring that he had just set fire to a fellow Housemate's bed.

"Draco malfoy" the voice over woman began "just minutes ago, you set fire to another housemate's bed. Big Brother has no choice but to punish you."

"Oh come on" Draco moaned "it was just abit of fun."

"Draco, setting fire to another housemate's possesions is a serious offence and Big brother will not tolerate this kind of behaviour, is that understood?" the woman continued.

"yeah" Grumbled Draco.

"Draco, as result of your punishment, you must sit in the Naughty corner for one hour then report back to the diary room to recieve a banana costume which you must wear for the remainder of the day" the woman instructed.

"Whatever" Draco muttered.

"Draco, please leave the Diary room and go sit in the naughty corner." Pissed off, Draco slumped out of the Diary room and went to sit in the Naughty corner in the garden for one hour.

"Serves him right" Ron muttered "I've got no where to sleep now."

"This is big brother, will Ron weasley please come to the Diary room." Ron got up from his seat and walked off to the Diary room and sat in the chair.

"Hello Ron" the woman said.

"Hi" Ron said in a glum voice.

"Ron, Big Brother understands that earlier this morning, your bed was set on fire by fellow Housemate Draco malfoy and Big Brother is offering to replace your bed with a new one" the woman continued.

"Oh thankyou so very much" Ron replied "but were am I going to sleep?"

"Well until your new bed arrives, you'll have to share a bed with another housemate. Is that ok?"

"Yeah" Ron replied "can it be with Harry. I'm not gay or anything, he's my best friend and I feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with a girl on live television."

"That would be fine Ron" the woman said "you may now leave the Diary room."

"Thankyou big brother" Ron replied before getting up and walking back into the front 's one hour of sitting in the naughty corner was up and he had to report back to the Diary room to recieve the banana costume which he had to wear for the rest of the day.

"Maybe this will make you think about setting fire to other people's beds" The woman said as Draco put on the banana costume.

"What you going to do if I do set fire to the weasley's bed again?" Draco spat.

"Big brother will have no choice but to forceably evict you if you do this again" the woman explained as Draco pulled a sarky face.

"You may now leave the Diary room Draco." Draco stood up and walked back into the living room dressed as a banana.

"Is that your punishment because it serves you right?" Ron spat.

"Oh shut up weasle features" Draco snapped.

Afternoon

That afternoon, another task was set and it was a dance off. The two housemates taking part were Umbridge and McGonogal.

"I'm betting that Umbridge wins" Filch whispered to Snape.

"Me too" Snape whispered back. The housemates all gathered to watch as McGonogal and Umbridge stepped onto the Dance mats.

"May the best dancer win" McGonogal said.

"Yes" Umbridge replied in a sinister tone "the best dancer." Soon, The two were dacning to lady gaga's poker face while the rest of the Housemates watched in amusement.

"Umbridge is rubbish at Dancing" Harry whipsered to Ron as Umbridge attempted an arm wave move.

"yeah she is isn't she?" Ron whipsered "McGonogal is the best one." The dance off had been going on for one hour and thiry minutes. The winner of the dance off was McGonogal.

"I told you she was better than Umbridge" Harry told Ron. As a prize for winning the Dance off, McGonogal had recieved a box of chocolates which she had to share with the rest of the housemates, however, Umbridge didn't want some because she was annoyed on loosing out on the Dance off.

"Never mind" said McGonogal "who wants a chocolate?"

Evening

By evening time, all the chocolates had been eaten. Dumbledore had gone off for a wonder round the house when he discovered some vodka which was lying around in the kitchen.

"Has anybody lost some vodka?" he asked. No answer.

"Hmmmm, maybe it's been left by one of the previous Housemates who came here before we did" Dumbledore muttered to himself "I think I might have a little drink of this to see what it tastes like." He opened the lid, took a swag from it and felt a weirded sensation running through him.

"Oh, this stuff is good" he said before drinking some more.

Back in the front room, Ron was asking Harry if it would be ok if he shared his bed with him until his new bed arrived.

"Sure you can" Harry replied "but top and tails mind because I don't want the viewers thinking we're a gay couple."

"You've took the words right out of my mouth" Ron replied. Suddenly,the two boys heard singing in the kitchen.

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"let's go find out, come on" Harry replied, getting up off his seat and heading into the kitchen wih ron following behind. What they found, shocked them both to the core.

Dumbledore was slumped against the cupboards, waving an empty bottle of vodka around and singing.

"Oh danny boy, the pipes,the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side" he sang in a drunken manner.

"He's drunk" a horrified Ron pointed out.

"I know" Harry eplied "he's completly hammered. Come and help me carry him to the bedroom." They pulled Dumbledore to his feet as he continued to sing.

"The summer's gone and all the rose's falling

Tis you, tis you must go and I must bide."

"God, how much did he drink?" Ron asked as they dragged Dumbledore across the living room.

"I think he drank the whole bottle" Harry replied.

"But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow" Dumbledore sang in a high pitched tone as the two boys dragged him into the bedroom and helped him onto his bed.

"What is the matter with Dumbledore?" Hermione asked.

"He's drunk" Harry replied "he found a bottle of vodka and drank the whole bottle."Giggling, Dumbledore sat up and looked around the room.

"Alright?" he slurred "which one of you lucky ladies fancy making a two hundred year old man very happy?" The girls looked at him with weirded out expressions on their faces.

"Aww come on, Dumbly bumbly is very very sad" Dumbledore pouted.

"Oh just go to sleep you drunken old man" Lucius snapped.

"Oi, don't you tell me what to do Lucifer, delicious, lucky, whatever your name is" Dumbledore slurred "I make my own decisions." He passed out.

"Finally" Snape muttered "hope he's sobered up by tomorrow." The other housemates agreed with him, even the ones who hated snape's guts.

Coming up in chapter six, Dumbledore has the biggest hang over ever,Charlotte is set a secret task by the tree of temptation plus the two housemates up for eviction is revealed, that's all to come in chapter six.


	6. Day four

Day four

Morning

That morning in the Big Brother house, Dumbledore had woken up with the biggest hang over ever and told everyone not to be too loud during the day.

"Well then" Snape spat "you shouldn't have drunken all that vodka last night."

"I know" Dumbledore groaned as he clutched his head "I regret it deeply." He stood up and walked over to the bathroom where the other housemate's heard him throwing up.

"Eurgh" Draco said "that's is revolting. Now I don't think I'll be able to eat my breakfast."

"This isn't the first time I've seen someone with a hangover" Charlotte told Ginny as they walked to the dining table.

"Oh really?" Ginny asked "who have you seen with a hangover?"

"My Eighteen year old sister Emma" Charlotte replied as they sat down "she'd get drunk every Friday and Saturday night."

"Sounds like a real party girl" Ron said "and it's every Friday and Saturday night?"

"Yeah" Charlotte replied "and when she has a hang over, she get's in a real bad mood and yells at everyone, including me and my other sister Janine."

"How many sister's have you got?" Hagrid asked.

"Two, there's Emma who's eighteen and Janine who's nearly ten" Charlotte replied.

"So that makes you the middle child in your family?" Draco asked.

"Of course, dumbo" Charlotte replied in a sarky manner.

"Hey, no one talks to me like that you, you kid" Draco spat "if you talk like that to me again, you won't like what I'll do to you."

Leave her alone Draco" Harry snapped "you shouldn't talk to people like that, especially if they're younger than you."

"Is he always this highly strung?" Charlotte whipsered to George.

"I'm afraid so" George replied.

"So Charlotte, when are you going to start on that novel of yours?" McGonogal asked the youngster.

"After breakfast" Charlotte replied "I was thinking of sitting out in the garden and doing some of it."

"Very good" McGonogal replied.

"This is Big brother, housemates are remainded that eviction day is to take place on day fourteen and the two up for nominations are Draco malfoy and serverus snape" Big Brother announced to the housemates.

"Is this because I set fire to the weasel's bed?" Draco asked.

"I think so" Ginny replied "and I don't think the viewers like your attitude either." Draco rolled his eyes and went back to his breakfast, Charlotte had gone out into the garden to get started on her novel for her class project while the rest just lounged about in the living room.

"I spy with my stupid eye, something begining with C" Ron said in a bored tone.

"Chair" Ginny replied.

"Correct" said ron "your go."

"Ok" Ginny replied "I spy with my little eye, something beginging with K."

"Kitkat?" George asked. Ginny shook her head.

"Condom?" Fred asked.

"That begins with a C, not a K" Ginny sanpped.

"Ok your highness" Fred replied.

"is it kettle" Hermione aksed.

"Right" Ginny replied "the kettle in the kitchen."

"Oh I'm fed up with this game now" Draco moaned.

"Already, we've only being playing it for two minutes" Harry replied "we're not stopping now, it's Hermione's turn."Draco rolled his eyes as Hermione started her turn.

"I spy with my little eye, something begining with D."

Meanwhile in the Garden, Charlotte was sat on the grass, trying to think on how she could start her novel when the tree of temptation started talking to her.

"Psst, pssst,Charlotte." The youngest Housemate looked up and realised that it was the tree that was talking to her.

"Hi" Charlotte said simply.

"Just carry on with what you're doing,don't let anyone know you're talking to the tree of temptation" the tree replied.

"Ok" Charlotte replied, acting as though she was writing in her notebook.

"If anyone comes into garden, I'll shut up and you act as though nothing has happened" the tree continued.

"Right" Charlotte replied.

"Charlotte, how would you like a new pair of trainers?" the tree asked.

"Well I'm not really desperate for a new pair but I guess it would be nice to have an extra pair" Charlotte replied as she continued to pretend she was writing in her notebook just in case one of the housemates was looking out the window.

"I can get that sorted for you, but I want you to do something for me" the tree continued.

"Yeah?" Charlotte asked.

"Charlotte, in my trunk is a bottle of itching powder, I want you to take it out and sprinkle the powder in four of the housemates underpants" the tree instructed. Charlotte tried her best not to laugh when she heard the task that had just been set for her.

"If you pass the task, I'll make sure that the Big brother crew get you a new pair of trainers, but if you fail or you get caught doing it, you'll face the wrath of the tree of temptation" the tree continued.

"Ok" Charlotte said giggling slightly "I guess I can use it on the housemates I don't like."

"Take the itching powder and make sure no one's watching." Charlotte looked to make sure none of the other housemates were looking out the window, but luckily they were all busy in a game of , she walked towards the tree, opened the glass door on it's trunk and took out the itching powder.

"Are you going to let me done as soon as you're done?" the tree asked.

"Yeah" Charlotte replied.

"Right get on with it then instead of standing there like a lettuce" the tree replied. Charlotte nodded and headed back to the house. She hid the itching powder under her jumper incase the others saw it and walked into the living area. Thankfully, no one noticed her because they were too busy playign twister.

Charlotte headed into the bedroom where Dumbledore was snoring his head off, sleeping off his hangover so Charlotte assumed he didn't know she was there. She walked towards the underwear drawer, took out Voldemort's underpants, Draco's underpants, Lucius's underpants and Snape's underpants. She looked around the room to make sure no one was looking before putting itching powder in the four housemate's she had chosen underpants. After she had finished, she put the underpants back in their ownder's drawers and quickly slipped back outside to tell the tree of temptation that she had just finished the task.

"Did anyone see you?" the tree asked the youngest housemate.

"No" charlotte replied "I checked and no one was even watching and they didn't suspect anything."

"Good girl Charlotte" the tree replied "if you go into the snug, you'll find you're new trainers in there." Charlotte stood up and walked over to the snug and came out carrying a pair of new trainers.

"How did they get here?" she asked.

"I told the big brother crew to put them there" the tree replied "but you musn't tell the other lot about these trainers. If they do find them then just tell them you got them for a relative or something."

"I'll say I got them from my parents if they do find out." Charlotte replied. She put them in her bag along with her notebook and walked back into the house.

Afternoon

That afternoon, Dumbledore was feeling a little better and joined the others for dinner. Today, they were having spagetti bolognaise and were drinking rola cola.

"Eurgh, this rola cola is minging" Ron said as he drank some rola cola "why can't they give us the good cola?"

"Maybe because they hate you" Draco told ron in a nasty tone.

"Shut up Draco you dirt bag" Charlotte spat "leave Ron alone."

"Don't you ever speak to my son like that again" Lucius threatened.

"You've got a big surprise coming to you tomorrow mate" Charlotte mumbled remembering that she had put itching powder in his set of underpants. After dinner, the housemates were having a game scrabble.

"I think I'll make the word,hobo country" Draco said.

"That's not even going to fit there" Hermione spat "there's only three spaces after hobo and country has seven words."

"Shut up mudblood" Draco spat "I'm Draco Malfoy and I do what I want."

"I was just saying that there is no room for country after the word hobo" Hermione replied.

"How about Hobo hat?" Ginny suggested.

"Shut up" Draco replied "I'm trying to think." Ginny rolled her eyes and added the word kitten toy on the scrabble board.

"That's good" charlotte replied.

"Thanks" said Ginny "what word have you made?"

"Well so far, I've put Hipswitch but I have four spaces left after it" Charlotte said.

"How about hipswitch lane" Ginny suggested.

"Good idea" Charlotte replied.

"How does this sound?" George asked "Gangster style."

"Have you got enough words for Style?" Ron asked who had made the word cupboard items.

"yeah" George replied "I've got the word gangster and i've got five spaces left so I think I should be able to get the word style in there ."

"Fine, whatever makes you happy" Ron replied.

Evening

That evening, all the housemates were sat in the bedroom. The ones who were asleep were Ron, Draco, Fred, George, Ginny, Lucius, Voldemort,Snape, Umbridge and Dumbledore. The rest were sat in their beds talking to each other.

"Do you think Dumbledore's recovered form his hand over?" Charlotte asked.

"He seemed fine at dinner earlier" Harry replied "he might be back to his old self tomorrow. Hopefully he'll stay away from the vodka this time."

"Snore" said Ron loudly.

"Oh he is so rude" Hermione scoffed. Voldemort was talking in his sleep.

"Kill potter, must kill potter, potter must die."

"Is he talking about you?" Charlotte asked Harry.

"Afraid so" harry replied "he's always tryign to kill me."

"Die potter die you filthy son of a bitch" Voldemort yelled before snorting.

"Ok" said Charlotte slowly "that was a clearly random moment." An hour later, every single housemate was asleep.

Coming in chapter seven, Ron's new bed arrives, the housemates take part in a fancy dress task plus Voldemort burns the dinner, that's all to come in chapter seven.


	7. Day five

Day five

Morning

That morning, the Housemates were all sat in the front room after being woken up by the demonic laughter alarm clock half an hour ago.

"I wonder if I'll get my new bed today" Ron wonder with a far away look on his face "I hope they make this one fire prove so no certain housemate can set fire to it again." He glared at Draco who just simply flipped him off and went back to the newspaper he was reading.

"This is Big brother, today all housemates will be taking part in a fancy dress task. For the course of today, all housemates must wear a costume for the whole day until eleven pm tonight. Housemates who refuse to take part in today's task will be punished."

"Oh great" Draco groaned "I hate the big brother tasks."

"You will take part in this task Draco Malfoy or you will feel the vengence of Big Brother" the voice over woman replied. Draco groaned in protest and flopped back on the sofa.

"Now, you will be called one by one to the diary room to retrieve your costume for the day. First up is Harry potter." Harry got up from the red bean bag he was sitting on and walked to the diary room.

"How come Potter get's to go first" Draco complained "I wanted to be first."

"I thought you didn't want to take part in today's task" Ginny replied "you said so yourself."

"Well I've changed my mind ok" Draco replied sarcasticly.

"Why, scared you'll get punished again?" Charlotte taunted. Draco glared at her and told her to shut up. Charlotte simply shrugged and picked up Big Brother monthly magazine. A few minutes later, Harry emerged from the Diary room, wearing a spongebob squarepants costume.

"Harry potter is a sponge?" Draco asked in shock then grinning "oh my god, Harry potter is a sponge." Harry simply ignored him and sat back down on the bean bag.

"The next housemate to retrieve their costume for the day is Ron weasley."

"Well here goes nothing" Ron declared putting on a brave face and walking confindently to the diary room. All the other housemates just gave him weird glances. When Ron walked back into the front room, he was wearing a peanut costume.

"Don't anybody laugh" Ron warned everybody "it's just a peanut."

"yeah" George chuckled "a peanut brother of ours." Ron grumbled under his breath and collasped on one of the chairs in shame.

"Will Hermione granger come to the Diary room to retrieve her costume for the day" the voice over woman announced. Hermione stood up and walked in a snobbish manner to the diary room.

"I hope she has a costume worth laughing about" Draco said.

"Why?" Ginny asked.

"Then I can make fun of her alld ay long, muhahahaha" Draco delcared evily.

"Patience my son" Lucius said, patting Draco on the shoulder "soon you will be making fun of that mudblood, no matter what costume she is wearing." Draco grinned evily at the Hermione came out the Diary room, she was wearing a hotdog costume. Draco pointed at Hermione and said "Ha ha" like Nelson Muntz from the simpsons. Hermione just simply rolled her eyes and sat down at the breakfast table. The person after Hermione to collect their costume for the day from the Diary room was Ginny weasley.

"What's the whole point of dressing up in stupid costumes anyway?" Snape asked.

"I think it's for entertainment purposes" Harry replied.

"Silence potter" Snape declared "do not answer me back boy."

"I wasn't" Harry protested "I was just say------"

"I said silence" Snape interupted. Ginny emerged a few minutes later, wearing a bunny rabbit costume.

"Oh look at this, it's the easter bunny" Draco taunted "come to shower me with really expensive easter eggs, oh wait I forgot, you're a poor easter bunny so you can't afford to buy really expensive easter eggs, that is a shame."

"You shouldn't be so mean" Charlotte warned "how would you like it if someone made fun of you."

"Well no one makes fun of me little girl" Draco replied "I am the great Draco malfoy and no one dares to make fun of me." Charlotte shook her head and walked off.

"It is now Albus Dumbledore's turn to retrieve his costume for the day" the woman announced. Dumbledore stood up and proudly strode to the Diary room.

"Wow" Harry pointed out "I bet Dumbledore is loving this."

"I'm glad somebody is" Ron replied miserbly "I'm begining to feel ridiculas in this peanut costume."

"Ha ha" said Draco again. Dumbledore was wearing a father christmas outfit when he walked back into the sitting area.

"Oh my word" Draco said sarcasticly "ho ho ho." Dumbledore simply ignored Draco's catty remark and said down next to Charlottte.

"I think it suits you" the young girl piped up "especially with the beard."

"Thankyou very much young one" Dumbledore replied "I am also quite fond of this costume myself." Snape was the next person to go to the Diary room to retrieve his costume and he clearly wasn't too happy.

"I hope I don't get a stupid outfit" he grumbled. Lucius was scratching his bottom in a frustrated manner.

"Jesus, my ass has been itching all morning" he said angrily. Charlotte tried her best not to laugh, remembering that she had put itching powder in his underpants whilst Lucius, Draco and Voldemort scratched away. Snape emerged from the Diary room dressed as a waffle and he was in much more of a bad mood than he was before.

"No one talk to me for the love of god" he yelled "this costume is nothing to laugh about. My bum is itching like mad and I cannot scratch it because of this stupid waffle outfit."

"Join the club" Voldemort replied "I also have an itchy anus."

"So do I" replied Draco

"And me" added Lucius.

"It must be these underpants, they must be made of some cheap material that causes bum rash and constant itching" Snape pointed out. Charlotte slapped her hand over her mouth to prevent her from giggling. McGonogal was the next to collect a costume so she went into the Diary room.

"Oh for god sakes" Lucius yelled as he scratched his bottom again "I wish my ass would stop itching like this." Close up on Charlotte on that presise moment, trying not to laugh.

"I wonder what McGonogal will be wearing today?" Ron asked.

"Beats me" Harry replied "we'll find out when she comes back in." When she came back in, she was wearing a queen Victoria outfit.

"Your highness" said Draco with a bow.

"yes thankyou Draco" McGonogal replied. Here was what costumes the rest of the housmemates retrieved from the Diary room to wear for the whole day.

Rubeus Hagrid got a pineapple costume.

Lord Voldemort got a potatoe costume and that made scratching his itchy bottom impossble.

Lucius Malfoy got a Patrick the starfish from spongebob sqaurepants costume.

"This has got to be the worst costume I have ever worn in my entire life" he said angrily.

Draco malfoy got a hamburger costume and that made it impossible to scratch his itching bottom that was possibly covered with itching powder by now.

Fred and george weasley both got giraffe costumes.

Dolores umbridge got a sausage costume and she wasn't amused.

Argus filch got a french maid costume and that made him the most unhappiest man in the house.

"This is an insult" he growled.

Mrs norris got nothing because Big brother didn't have any costumes suitable for a cat.

Vernon dursley got a pig costume and Harry pointed out that it suited him very well.

"I will kill you boy" Vernon raged in anger. Charlotte was the last to retrieve a costume from the diary room and hers was a cat costume.

"Well, I guess this will have to do" she said simply. Later that morning, Ron's new bed arrived and he went into the Diary room to thank Big brother for sending him a new bed.

"You are very welcome Ron" said the woman voice in the Diary room "I bet you are looking forward to sleeping in it tonight."

"You bet I am" Ron admitted "but just one thing, is the bed fire prove?"

"Yes Ron, the bed is fire prove, you may now leave the Diary room." Ron got up and walked out of the Diary room to see his beloved new bed.

Afternoon

Still in their fancy dress outfits, the housemates were sat around, waiting for Voldemort and Filch to finish making the dinner .

"Oh I am a happy peanut, a happy happy peanut" Ron sang "I live in a peanut house with my dear peanut wife and my happy peanut children, oh, I am a happy happy peanut."

"What was the point of that?" Draco asked.

"I was bored" Ron replied "I'm ammusing myself."

"Making an ass of yourself more like" Draco muttered sarcasticly. Suddenly, there came a big commotion from the kitchen and the housemates all ran to the kitchen to see what was going on.

"You idiot" Filch yelled, chasing Voldemort with a broom "I told you to watch the pork chops."

"What's going on?" Charlotte asked.

"That idiot over there" Filch replied angrilly "has burnt the porkchops. He was supposed to be keeping an eye on them but he had to go and muck around with the mop."

"Hey hey" Voldemort protested "That mop is very shiny, I couldn't resist." Filch growled, threw his hands in the air and walked out of the kitchen.

"Never mind" Said Dumbledore "let's stick some noodles in the oven instead."

Evening

It was just after eleven pm and the housemates had changed out of their costumes and into their pyjamamas.

"Ahh , what a day" Sighed Hermione "I am all tired out now."

"I love my new bed" said Ron as he sprawled out on his new bed, kissing it.

"Oh my god, why don't you and that bed get a room" Draco pointed out sarcasticly. Ron flipped him off .

"I wonder what will happen tomorrow?" Ginny wondered.

"I don't know" Charlotte replied "but I am enjoying myself here."

"So Charlotte, how are you coming on with your novel?" Harry asked.

"I'll read what I've got so far if you like" Charlotte replied "Ahem. Once there was a little girl called Charlie who learned that she was going to live in a big house with some other people for a few months. So she packed her suitcase, got on a train to go and live in this big house. When she got there, Charlie was very scared but the other people who were staying in the house were very nice to her and assured her that she would have a great time in the big house. Little did Charlie know that all these other people were wizards and that they could do magic. That's all I got so far."

"I think that's a good begining" Hermione pointed out "I reckon you'll get good grades on that in school."

"Thankyou" Charlotte replied, feeling proud of herself.

Coming up in Chapter Eight, Charlotte comes down with a twenty four hour bug, Voldemort and Draco plot to take over the house, plus Hermione shows her true feelings for Ron, that's all to come in the next chapter folks.


	8. Day six

Day six

Morning

It was six in the morning and all the housemates were still asleep but not for long because the demonic laughter erupted through the bedroom, waking the housemates from their beloved sleep.

"I am so sick of this" Vernon growled "I am going to bomb this house someday." Vernon then imagined himself planting a time bomb in the big brother garden and running for cover whilst Voldemort stretched out and said now much he loved the alarm clock and how he wished he had one.

"Would you like me to somehow purchase you one my lord?" Lucius suggested.

"yeah yeah Lucius" Voldemort replied "you may purchase me an alarm clock with a demonic laugh like the one on this show if you wish. But now I must journey to the breakfast table and sample what the muggles call coffee." When the Housemates all sat down for breakfast, they noticed that Charlotte was missing.

"Where's the kid?" Draco aksed "she should have got up like the rest of us."

"She has a name you know" Hermione snapped "so you can stop referring her to as the kid." A few minutes later, Charlotte slumped into the sitting area looking rather peaky.

"Hey how come you're up a little later than us?" Ron asked.

"I'm sorry" Charlotte replied "my stomach's been doing somersaults all morning and I couldn't leave the bathroom."

"Why don't you try and eat something?" Ginny suggested "it might make you feel better." Charlotte slapped her hnad over her mouth and ran back to the bathroom.

"I'll take that as a no then" Ginny pointed out. before going back to her cornflakes.

"This is Big Brother, will Vernon Dursley please come to the Diary room." Vernon grumbled furiously under his breath and walked to the Diary room and sat in the chair.

"Good morning Vernon" the diary room woman said.

"is it?" Vernon replied simply.

"Vernon, this morning you were heard threatening to bomb the big brother house, is this true?"

"I never said that " Vernon denied "It was that filch guy who said it."

"Vernon, Big brother has caught you saying it on camera, here you are saying it." Vernon was then shown a footage of himself saying that he would bomb the big brother house someday.

"Oh yeah" Vernon replied, looking rather sheepish.

"Vernon, Big brother does not tolerate bomb threats and for this you shall be punished, you must sit in the naughty corner which is situated in the garden near the animal area for one hour. After one hour is up, you must report back to the Diary room to retrieve a sign saying Thou shalt not make bomb threats and wear it for the entire day. Is that understood?"

"Whatever pleases you" Vernon replied.

"Very well Vernon, now go and sit in the naughty corner."Vernon stood up and grumpily slunk out of the Diary room to go and sit in the naughty corner. Charlotte had just emerged from the bathroom and she looked terrible. She collasped on the sofa and held a cushion over her stomach.

"This is big brother, will Charlotte please come to the Diary room." Groaning, Charlotte slowly got up and dragged herself to the Diary room and collasped in the chair.

"Hello Charlotte."

"Hi" Charlotte mumbled.

"Charlotte, big brother has noticed that you are not feeling too good this morning, could you please say what is wrong?"

"Well all morning my stomach's been doing somersaults and I spend nearly half an hour in the bathroom just now" Charlotte replied.

"You could have a twenty four bug" the diary room woman suggested "big brother suggests that you spend the entire day in bed so you don't pass it on to the other housemates and Big brother will provide you with a sick bucket." A piece of rope with a red bucket with the words SICK BUCKET written on it tied to the end came hovering down from the ceiling. Charlotte untied the bucket and placed it on her knee.

"You are aslo excused from any tasks set for today."

"thankyou big brother" charlotte replied.

"Thankyou Charlotte" the Diary room woman replied "you may now leave the Diary room."

Later that morning, Vernon had finished his one hour session of sitting in the naughty corner and he was now wearing a sign round his neck, reading out the words "thou shalt not make bomb threats."

"I wasn't serious about bombing this place" Vernon snapped "can't these big brother people take a ruddy joke?"

"I smell the smell of frustration in the aiiir" Ron sang happily.

"Shut your trap Ginger" Vernon yelled, raising his fist to Ron.

"Woah woah, easy man with that fist" Ron replied "or your might have to sit in the naughty corner again then wear another sign saying thou shalt not hit his fellow housemates." Meanwhile, in the snug, Draco and Voldemort were cooking up a devious plan to take over the Big Brother house.

"Ok, here's how we should play it" Draco suggested "we break into the camera room at midnight, tie up the crew then run this show ourselves unless a ransom of thirty billion pounds is paid."

"No no you idiot" Voldemort growled, hitting Draco over the head " we have to play it cool, we mustn't let anyone suspect a thing. We need to be sneaky."

"Your point being?" Draco replied.

"I don't know" Voldemort replied "I was hoping you had a great idea."

"I did" Draco barked "but you said it was stupid."

"I don't play that way man" Voldemort replied, folding his arms.

Afternoon

That afternoon, the housemates, minus Charlotte who was in bed with a stomach bug were having pot noodles for dinner. Hermione had noticed how sexy Ron looked when he twirled the chicken and mushroom noodles round his fork before devouring it.

"Ooooh, i've never known real food like this" Ron said happily. Hermione was day dreaming about her and Ron both sharing a piece of Noodle until their lips met in the middle and they both kissed.

"Hermione, earth to Hermione." Ginny was waving her hand in front of Hermione's face and she snapped back into reality.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"You were day dreaming" Ginny said "what's on your mind?"

"Nothing" Hermione replied, still gazing lovingly at Ron. Halfway through dinner, Hermione wrote a note on a piece of paper and quickly threw it to Ron.

"Oh what is this?" Ron said as he picked up the piece of paper and read it.

"Meet me in the snug in ten minutes from Hermione." Ron waited for ten minutes before heading to the snug to Find Hermione waiting for him.

"Hermione, what's all this about?" Ron asked curiously.

"Come in Ron and you'll find out" Hermione replied. Shrugging, Ron walked into the snug and sat down on the leather sofa next to Hermione.

"So, what's all this about?" Ron asked "If it's about your wand, I am so sorry I snapped it in half."

"It's not about the wand Ron" Hermione replied "It's just that, I think you are sexy."

"Whaaaaaat?" Ron asked, his eyes popping out of his head.

"I've only just noticed it" Hermione explained "but you are one fine excuse of a hunk." Before Ron could retaliate, Hermione began snogging his face off. It didn't take Ron long to snog her back.

"I love you Ronald Weasley" Hermione said.

"I love you to Hermione Granger" Ron replied. After their little make out session in the snug, Ron and Hermione walked hand in hand back into the Diary room to break the news to their fellow housemates.

"Guys, me and Hermione have an announcement to make" Ron said.

"Oh I know I know you got her pregnant and are now marrying her" Draco pointed out. Hermione gave Draco the evils.

"No you idiot" Ron barked "me and Hermione are in a relationship." There came several gasps from the other housemates and whispers.

"Since when?" Fred asked.

"Since about half an hour ago" Hermione replied. Charlotte had poked her head round the bedroom door, rubbing her eyes.

"What's going on out here?" she asked sleepily.

"Ron and Hermione are in a relationship" Ginny told her. Charlotte smiled at Ron and Hermione, gave them thumbs up before slipping back into the bedroom.

"Now you're going to get her pregnant and propose to her?" Draco asked.

"No" Ron snapped "it's early days yet, we're just going to take it slowly."

"Well if you are going to do any making out, don't do it in the bedroom" Draco replied.

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"Two reasons, one there's a twelve year old who sleeps in that room and two, I don't want to listen to you two doing it" Draco replied. Everyone turned to Draco with freaked out expressions.

"Oh come on" Draco said, throwing his arms in the air "no one would want to listen to two people doing the deed all night would they?" No comment came from the rest of the Housemates.

"Very well then" Draco replied "I rest my case."

Evening

That evening, the housemates were sat in the bedroom. Ron and Hermione were snug up in Ron's new bed, cuddling.

"You guys aren't going to make out are you?" Harry asked, looking a little disturbed.

"I'm hugging my girlfriend" Ron replied "but we're not going to make out, not just yet."

"But you are going to make out one day?" Harry asked.

"Hello" Charlotte said, waving her hand "there's a twelve year old kid in the room. Can you please stop talking about that kind of thing?"

"Yes Ronald" Hermione said, playfully whacking Ron round the head "stop talking like a dirty person." Ron and Hermione didn't do the deed because they were both taking it slowly, so they kissed each other goodnight before going to bed.

Coming up in chapter nine, The Housemates have a camp out, Draco gets his head stuck in the toilet plus Dumbledore gives Ron advice on how to please a girl. That's all to come next.


	9. Day seven

Day seven

Morning

It was the seventh day in the Big Brother house and Ron was woken up by a kiss on the cheek by Hermione who was laying in the bed with him.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked in a hushed voice "it's five o clock in the morning."

"I know" Hermione whispered "but I couldn't sleep, I was dying to give you a kiss."

"Uh huh" Ron grumbled, flopping his head on the pillow. Hermione gave him a quick peck on the cheek again before going back into her own hour later, the demonic laughter alarm clock went off and the housmates grumpily slumped out of bed and dragged themselves to the breakfast table.

"I am so tired" Ginny moaned as she slumped on a chair "and I'm hungry. Who's cooking breakfast this morning?"

"I think it's Dumbledore and Harry who are making today's breakfast" Hermione replied "They both volunteered to do it." A little while later, the housmates were eating pancakes and fruit for breakfast when Big Brother had announcement to make.

"This is Big brother, tonight all housemates will be having a campout in the garden to reward good behaviour."

"Wow, I love camping" Charlotte piped up excitedly.

"A huge tent has been set up in the garden and inside are campbeds and bedding. Housemates are permitted to bring snacks, drinks and board games into the tent" Big Brother continued.

"I'm going to bring beer" George announced.

"However, any Alcoholic drinks are not permitted to be bought in the tent."

"Awww nuts" George replied. Folding his arms "that sucks." A little while later,Draco was in the garden, glaring evilly at the cute little bunny rabbits when the weasley twins walked up to him.

"What do you want?" Draco demanded "can't you see I'm trying to think of many ways to get rid of these ridiculas animals."

"There's a blockage in the toilet" Fred said "but none of the other housemates want to fix it."

"So we thought we'd come out here and ask you" George continued. Draco looked at the twins and scoffed.

"I am Draco Malfoy, I don't do plumbing" The snobby housemate replied.

"But you're the only one available, no one else will do it" George said.

"So just come to the toilet and fix it" Fred added. Reluctantly, Draco agreed to fix the toilet but what he didn't know that there was no blockage. The twins had a big surprise for Draco.

"Ok, where's the problem?" Draco asked.

"It's in the toilet" Fred said, pointing at the toilet "just go and have a look." Huffing, Draco walked over to the toilet and looked in it.

"I can't see any stupid blockage" Draco said.

"Get down on your knees and look closely" George said "There is definatly a blockage." Swearing under his breath, Draco got on his knees and looked further into the toilet.

"Ready George?" Asked Fred.

"Ready" George replied "one two three." The twins snuck up behind Draco, pushed his head in the bowl and pulled the flush.

"Oh ha ha very funny" Draco's muffled voice said "but you've flushed the wrong person's head down the toilet. Now it's time for you to face the wrath of Draco malfoy." Draco tried to pull his head out of the toilet, but it had got stuck.

"I can't get my head out of the toilet" he yelled as the twins stood there giggling and admiring their handywork.

""Are you guy's still there?" Draco asked "because if you are, then you can get my head out of the toilet." The twins didn't help him, they both walked out of the bathroom, leaving Draco's head trapped in the toilet. Draco's head had been stuck in the toilet for almost an hour when Snape walked into the bathroom for a visit when he noticed the snobbish boy's head in the toilet.

"I don't think that is very hygienic Draco" Snape pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked.

"Drinking out of the toilet" Snape replied " it's very unhygienic."

"I am not drinking out of the toilet you fool" Draco snapped "the weasley twins shoved my head in the toilet and now I can't get it out."

"Would you like me to pull you out?" Snape asked.

"Well if you are going to help me then get on with it" Draco ordered.

"Very well" Snape replied as he grabbed Draco's waist and with one yank, managed to free his head from the toilet.

"Thankyou very much" Draco replied.

"You're very welcome Draco" Snape replied "now run along because I need to use the toilet." Draco nodded and went back into the front room.

"Wow, you've been in the bathroom for one hour" Hagrid said "got abit of a problem with the old stomach area."

"Shut up you large person" Draco snapped " my head was stuck in the toilet." The twins high fived and the move went unoticed.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the other bathroom which is situated in the bedroom to wash the toilet germs from my face" Draco replied before walking to the other bathroom, arms folded.

Later that morning, Ron was sat in the snug thinking of ways to impress Hermione when Dumbledore appeared.

"Hello Mr Weasley" the wise old man greeted.

"Hi Proffesor" Ron replied.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Dumbledore asked as he twirled his abnormally long beard round his wrinkly fingers absentmindedly.

"If you want " Ron replied. Dumbledore nodded and sat next to Ron on the brown leather sofa.

"So, what is on your mind Mr weasley?" Dumbledore asked when he noticed that Ron had something on his mind.

"Well, you know that me and Hermione are in a relationship" Ron replied "I was thinking of ways to impress her."

"Ahhh, well I could give you advise on how to please a lady" Dumbledore replied "firstly, treat her like a lady, not an object,secondly, girls like Chocolate, maybe a big box of chocolates will certainly please her."

"Well, I think I can do the part about treating her like a lady" Ron replied "but where am I going to get a big box of chocolates from?"

"Ahh fair point" Dumbledore replied "just stick with treating her like a lady, not an object for now."

Afternoon

The housemates were having lasagne and peas for dinner. Draco kept giving the twins repepetive evil glares but they just ignored him and continued stuffing their faces.

"I hope it's not going to rain tonight" Ron said with a hopeful look on his face "I can't stand rain, it's so wet and dirty."

"But you'll be inside the tent like the rest of us" Harry replied.

"I know that" Ron replied "but I won't be able to sleep with all that rain pattering on the tent." Hagrid had eaten his entire lasagne in one go and everyone looked at him weired out.

"Oooh, that was a nice lasagne, now a big glass of lemonade to wash it down with." He drank a whole glass of lemonade down without choking in one go before letting out a loud and satisfied belch.

"Ahhh, that's better" Hagrid said, patting his large stomach proudly. Draco who was sat next to him, gave him a disgusted look.

"You pig" Draco scoffed "cover your mouth when your burp. God, don't you have any table manners?"

"I was never taught table manners" Hagrid replied "I was bought up in a family where table manners didn't exist." Draco shook his head and continued to eat his dinner. After Dinner, the housemates were all getting ready for the campout.

"Should we sneak some vodka into the tent?" George suggested to Fred.

"Oh yes, let's do it" Fred replied.

"I don't think that's a good idea" said Hermione who had appeared out of nowhere "you could get the whole housemates into trouble."

"Where you listening to our conversation, bookworm?" Fred asked, eying Hermione suspiciously.

"I couldn't help overhearing your little conversation about sneaking vodka into the tent" Hermione replied "so I'm saying that is a bad idea."

"Fine you win" George replied, throwing his amrs in the air "but we can still have fun without the vodka?"

"I can't see why not" Hermione replied "we could play games and stuff." The twins high fived as Hermione walked out into the garden to help with the tent.

Evening

By six pm, all the housemates had piled into the tent and the weasley twins came up with a game.

"How would you guys like to play, wink murder?" George asked.

"How do you play that?" Draco asked because he was always to busy being stuck up and snobbish that he never played games in his youth.

"Well, you lot have to close your eyes and we send a person to be the inspector outside and whilst you lot have your eyes closed, we get to choose who the murderer is and when the inspector comes back in, you all open your eyes and if the murderer winks at you, you have to fall down" Fred explained. Draco rolled his eyes in response.

"What a pile of hippogriff dung" Draco scoffed.

"I like that game" Charlotte replied "I play it all the time with my friends sometimes."

"That's because you're a stupid kid" Draco told her making Charlotte look at him, open mouthed.

"You can talk" Fred told him "your mum is a bitch."

"Never ever talk about my mother like that you dirtbag" Draco seethed, fists raised "or i'll intorduce my fists to your stupid ugly fat faces." George stood up and began to entertain the Housemates with a little song.

"Oh, Draco's mum is a stupid bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a ugly, stupid, moronic ugly bitch" George sang.

"Shut up" Draco growled. At the moment, Fred began joining in and both the twins were singing and adding a dance routine.

"Have you ever met Draco malfoy's mum, she is the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a number one bitch, she's a bitch to the whole wide world."

"Stop insulting my beloved wife" Lucius thundered but the twins carried one and it was becoming rather entertaining.

"If you ever met Draco's mum, then you will know that she's a super bitch, a bitchy bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. Oh yeah, Draco's mum, is a stupid moronic bitch, a real bitch Draco's mum, yeah." The twins did a bow and the only people who enoyed it were Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Charlotte, Dumbledore and Hagrid. The others didn't seem so impressed.

"You have insulted my mother" Draco said, pointing a threatening finger at the twisn "first you push my head in the toilet and now you insult my mother. You two are going to face the wrath of Draco Malfoy very soon."

"Whatever" Fred replied, gesturing the W sign with his fingers.

"Yeah, whatever" George added, doing the same. Ron and Hermione had started snogging.

"Oh my god, get a room" Voldemort said, backing away.

A few hours after mucking around in the tent, the housemates were getting tired.

"I am so tired" Ginny yawned as she climbed into her camp bed and layed her head down on the pillow.

" I hope I have evil dreams tonight" Voldemort said as he stretched out on his campbed " I love evil dreams."

"You would do Tom" Dumbledore replied.

"Never call me by that name" Voldemort raged "I am the powerful and almighty voldemort, cower before me pathetic fools."

"Maybe tomorrow" Ron yawned "I'm pretty tuckered out at the moment." Voldemort cursed under his breath and got into his camp bed.

Coming up in chapter ten, Ron and Hermione have a little private time,the tree of temptation sets Ginny a secret task plus snape reveals a pet snake he snuck in. That's all to come next.


	10. Day eight

Day eight

Morning

Most of the housemates were up before the Demonic laughter alarm went off. There was only two housemates still in bed, Voldemort and Draco.

"I swear that son of mine is becoming lazy these days" Lucius said "I think that Voldemort is becoming a bad influence on him, I like that." He brushed a comb through his long hair and was singing an evil song. When he had finished it, the Demonic laughter could be heard from the bedroom.

"Right on cue" Said Lucius proudly.A few seconds later, Voldemort and Draco emerged from the bedroom.

"Hey " Voldemort said when he noticed that everyone else was already up "why are you guys up before us?"

"Because we got up about an hour before the alarm went off" Ginny replied "we all felt wide awake so we decided tog et up early, didn't we everybody?"

"Of course" the other housemates chorused. Voldemort rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

"I never knew Voldemort showered" Ron whispered to Harry who snickered.

"I don't know what the big deal about showering is" Filch pointed out "it's stupid. I would never go near one of those in my life."

"I think we have figured that out by now my friend" George replied as Fred tried to stifle a giggle.

"I am not your friend" Filch growled "I am your mortal enemy." Fred and George just laughed and walked away to eat some waffles which was today's breakfast.

"I'll be outside if anyone needs me" Ginny said as she stood up and walked towards the glass doors.

"But you're not even dressed yet Ginny" Ron pointed out.

"So" Ginny replied, hands on her hips "I'm only going in the garden,not all the way to france in my pyjamas, calm down Ronald." She turned around, arms folded and headed into the garden and walked over to the snug area.

"Guess she can't be bothered to get dressed today" Ron whispered to Harry. Hermione tapped Ron on the shoulder and suggested that they go into the bedroom for a little private time.

"Whaaaaaat?" Ron aksed, gawping.

"Just come on and don't be a wimp" Hermione said, grabbing Ron by the ear and dragged him into the bedroom.

"Bow chika wow wow" the twins sang "boom shacka lacka lacka boom shacka lacka lacka boom."

"Shut up" Draco roared "that is so annoying."

Meanwhile, in the garden,the tree of temptation started talking to Ginny.

"Psst, psst, Ginny"

"yeah?" Giny replied who was still in the snug area.

"It's me, the tree" the tree replied "stay were you are, don't let any one know you're talking to the tree of temptation."

"Right, ok" Ginny replied staying seated where she was.

"Ginny, how would you like to recieve a letter from home?" the tree asked.

"Cool" Ginny said eagerly.

"I can get that sorted, if you do something for me" the tree replied.

"Like what?" Ginny replied.

"During the day, I want you to say something insulting to each of the other lot then give them a hug after" the tree replied "you've got to get them on their own and be suttle about it, they can't suspect a thing." Ginny started giggling a little.

"Like how insulting?" Ginny asked.

"Just tell them something that they won't like to hear about themselves" the tree said "for example I would say that you look like a Ginger monkey then I would give you a hug, yuck."

"Yeah" Ginny replied half giggling.

"If you succeed with the task, I'll get you a letter from home" the tree replied "but if you fail or betray me, you'll face the wrath of the tree of temptation."

"Right" Ginny replied "but does it have to be all the housemates because I think Draco, Snape, Voldemort and Lucius are going to be hard to do because they are pretty mean."

"yeah, it's got to be all the housemates" the tree replied.

Back in the house, Ron and Hermione had finished with their little private time and walked back into the front room.

"I'm going to see Ginny" Ron told Hermione.

"ok" Hermione replied. Ron gave her a wink and went out into the garden to find Ginny still sat in the snug.

"Hi Ginny" Ron said, sitting next to her "you coming back inside?"

"Just a minute" Ginny replied then turning to her older brother with a weird glance.

"What is it?" Ron asked his sister.

"When was the last time you had a bath?" Ginny asked "because you smell."

"I what?" Ron asked, pretty gobsmacked.

"You smell" Ginny said simply before reaching over and giving Ron a hug then letting go "you coming inside then?" Ron just sat there looking gobsmacked as Ginny headed back into the house.

"What was all that about?" he wondered. Thinking nothing of it, he got up and followed his sister inside.

Afternoon

During the past few hours, Ginny had been randomly insulting the other housemates then hugging them after. She called Harry a four eyed ferret, she refered Hermione as a beaver, she told Snape that he looked like a grandmother, she told Filch he reminded her of a unhygienic rodent, she called Umbridge queen of the toads, she told Dumbledore that his nose was abnormally large, she referred Fred and George as Bookends, she called McGonogal the wicked with of the west,she told Hagrid he looked like a mad hairy beast, she told Voldemort he reminded her of a snake and pointed out that his mum was a human and his dad was a snake,she called Lucius goldilocks due to his long hair, she told Draco his head was mishaped and too pointy, she called Charlotte a chav who comes from a rough area in london,she called vernon a big fat slobbering pig and pointed out that Mrs Norris had fleas and needed a serious comb over. After she had finished insulting the other housemates, she went out into the garden to inform the tree of temptation that she had completed the task.

"Hello tree, are you there?" Ginny whispered.

"What do you want?" the tree replied.

"I've just finished insulting the housemates" Ginny replied.

"I know, I've been listening to you insult the other lot" the tree replied "and I have to say that you've done good, for a girl."

"Oi, you cheeky tree" Ginny replied jokingly.

"Anyway" the tree continued "if you go into the Diary room, you will find a letter from home on the chair."

"Ok" Ginny replied as she walked back into the house and into the diary room to find a letter from home lying on the chair. She opened it and began to read it.

Meanwhile, Snape and Voldemort where in the bedroom.

"I can't believe that Ginny weasley called me a grandmother" Snape pointed out.

"Maybe the girl is becoming confident and saying what she really thinks" Voldemort replied as Snape took out a tank "what do you have here then serverus?"

"I sneaked it into the house on the first day?" Sanpe whispered "I've been hidng it under my bed." He took off the cloth from the tank to reveal a black snake.

"Ooh" said Voldemort, rubbing his hands together evily "and what do you call this fine creature?"

"I call him Lipshin" replied snape "he is my most beloved pet and I couldn't leave him alone so I snuck him into the house."

"And you managed to get away with it?" Voldemort asked who was clearly amazed. Snape nodded proudly.

"You better keep that out of sight then" Voldemort instructed "if the others find out you've got a snake, you could be punished or kicked out."

"very well" said Snape before turning to his snake "time for you to go back under the bed lipshin, I will feed you later." Lipshin hissed in response as Snape covered it's tank with the cloth again and put in under his head then turned to Voldemort "the tank is locked so he won't be able to escape."

"Good" Voldemort replied "now come and take a walk with me serverus."

"With pleasure my lord" Snape replied with a bow.

Evening

That evening, everybody was in the bedroom talking amongst themselves and no body knew about the snake that Snape had kept hidden under his bed. The twins were being entertaining by once again, singing.

"She's a maniac, maniac on the floor, and she's dancing like she's never danced before" they both sang as they jumped on thier beds.

"This is Big Brother, will Fred and George please stop jumping on the beds."

"You'e the boss" George replied as he and fred stopped. Charlotte gigled at them and shook her head.

"You guys are crazy" she told them.

"Crazy and proud of it" Fred replied with a satisfied smirk. Ron rolled his eyes in response and referred to them as morons.

Coming up in chapter Eleven, a new housemate arrives in the house,Lipshin the snake escapes from his tank but snape manages to catch him before anyone notices plus Draco and Harry compete in a motor scooter race, that's all to come next.


	11. Day nine

Day nine

Morning

That morning in the house, Voldemort was yet again, yelling in his sleep.

"Come here potter so I can rip out your intestines and fry them for my lunch." Harry, Ron, Hermione, Charlotte and Ginny looked at each other then looked at Voldemort in a funny way.

"That is the most disturbing thing I have ever heard" Ron said.

"Ha ha ha, I have you cornered now potter" Voldemort yelled again. Lucius threw a cushion at Voldemort and told him to shut up just before the Demonic laughter alarm went off.

"Oh great" Lucius groaned. Voldemort stretched and wiggled his grotesque toes.

"I love waking up to the sound of evil laughter in the morning" he said "now how shall I start my evil day?." he got out of bed and walked into the sittign area while Charlotte giggled.

Half an hour later, the housemates where sat at the breakfast table when Big Brother had a big announcement to make.

"Later this morning,a new housemate will be arriving. We will not be telling you who this new housemate is, so you will find out when they arrive. Good day."

"Oh a new housemate woopedoda" Draco pointed out sarcasticly "I can't wait."

"Why do you have to be so sarky all the time?" Ginny hissed at Draco "it's not very nice."

"Be quiet weasley" Draco spat.

"yes, be silent, weasley brat" Lucius added. Ginny was reeling and had the good urge to hit both of them but she kept her fists clenched.

An hour later, Big brother told all the Housemates to gather in the sitting room to await the arrival of the new housemate.

"I wonder who it could be?" Harry wondered.

"Be patient my dear boy" Dumbledore said, patting Harry on the shoulder "we will find out when they arrive."

"I don't give a monkeys who the new housemate is" Draco scoffed with his arms folded "this whole show is pointless ."

"If this show is pointless, then why did you come on here?" Charlotte asked.

"Because I thought it was going to be entertaining, not some pointless peace of fodder and shut your mouth you stupid little girl" Draco spat nastily.

"Will you be quiet Mr malfoy" McGonogal warned Draco who rolled his eyes and crossed his legs. After waiting for Half an hour the new housemate, Gilderoy Lockhart walked in.

"Hello everybody" he said in a cheery voice, showing of his perfect white teeth.

"Ohno" Harry and Ron groaned.

"Who's that?" Charlotte asked.

"That's Gilderoy Lockhart, an old teacher from our school" Ron whispered. Lockhart put his glittery suitcase down and skipped over to the housemates.

"Well, look who we have here then, Mr Potter, Mr Weasley. Miss Granger." Hermione sighed lovingly at him which Ron Noticed.

"Ahem, have you forgotten that you're boyfriend is sat next to you" he said. Lockhart looked around at the rest of the housemate until he came to Charlotte.

"Hello there" he greeted "I've never met you before."

"I'm Charlotte parker" she replied "I'm the special guest Housemate."

"Oh and what kind of special thing do you do?" he asked with pure interest.

"Well, my english class at school is doing a subject on Big Brother and they wanted one of the students to take part so they do a product based on what goes on in the house and I basicly volunteered" Charlotte explained.

"Interesting" Lockhart replied "so what kind of product are you doing then my girl?"

"I'm writing a novel based on my time in the house " Charlotte replied. Lockhart nodded and he noticed that she was younger than the rest.

"I hope you don't mind me saying, but you are so young. How old are you, Eleven?" he asked.

"I'm Twelve" Charlotte replied "and when I grow up, I want to be a writer and I think that this class product I'm doign will be the perfect oppertunity to get started."

"Well, you keep up the good work my girl. Now were is the bedroom, I need to unpack." The housemates pointed the bedroom out to Lockhart and he picked up his suitcase and trotted into the bedroom.

"What is that fruit doing here?" Draco whispered.

"Big Brother allowed him to come in" Snape replied.

"Great, now this show is going to get even weirder with him around" Draco muttered.

Afternoon

While everyone was at the table eating Dinner,snape snuck into the bedroom to check on Lipshin to find the walls covered with photos of Lockhart smiling and showing off his pearly whites.

"He hasn't changed at all" he sighed before going over to his bed and pulling out the tank to find it empty.

"That's not possible" he muttered "I must not have put the lid on properly." He then went searching round the bedroom for the snake.

"Lipshin" he called "lipshin come to dady my lipshin." Luckily, Lipshin was found lurking behind the toilet in the bathroom.

"You really are a naughty snake lipshin" Snape said as he picked him up "now you stay in your tank and don't let any of the other fools see you ok." He put Lipshin back in his tank and made sure he had put the lock on properly. After he had checked, he made his way back to the table.

"Where did you go Serverus?" Voldemort asked his friend.

"To check on Lipshin" Snape whispered so the others wouldn't hear "he escaped from his tank but I located him behind the toilet."

"Good job you found him before anyone noticed" Voldemort whipsered back.

"This is Big Brother, this afternoon, two housemates will be taking part in a motor scooter race which will take place in the garden. The two housemates taking part will be Harry potter and Draco Malfoy" Big brother announced halfway during the dinner.

"What?" Harry said, gobsmacked.

"You have got to be kidding me" Draco added.

"The task will take place after dinner and the other housemates will sit and watch" Big Brother continued. After when dinner was over,All the housemates went into the garden to watch the motor scooter race that Harry and Draco wee taking part in.

"You're so going to eat my dust, potter" Draco bragged with a smirk.

"Not if you eat mine first" Harry replied with the same expression. The two got onto the motor scooters and got ready to go.

"I want Harry to win" Lockhart whispered to Ron "I hate the Malfoy boy." Ron nodded in agreement and listened as Big brother spoke again.

"Good afternoon and welcome to the Big Brother motor scooter race, the two players will go around the course three times and the first one to finish first will win a month supply of Chocolates for the house."

"Oooooh" the twins said together.

"Riders are you ready." Harry and Draco both gripped the handle bars , getting ready to go.

"On your marks, get set, GO." A foghorn went off and both Harry and Draco were riding around the garden on the course that had been set for the race.

"Go on Draco my boy, crush potter to the ground" Lucius egged on.

"Will you shut up Lucius" Hagrid thundered. After they went around three times, Harry was declared the winner leaving Draco in a strop.

"This is Big Brother, will Harry potter please come to the Diary room to collect the prize" Big Brother instructed. Harry walked back into the house and went into the diary room.

"Hello Harry" said the diary room woman voice.

"Hello Big Brother" Harry replied.

"Harry, Big Brother would like to congratulate you on winning the motor scooter race."

"Thankyou very much" Harry replied.

"Harry" the woman voice continued "on the floor is the prize for winning the race. It is a month supply of chocolates in which you must share with the other housemates."

"I will do" Harry replied as he picked up the basket of Chocolates.

"Thankyou Harry, you may nowl eave the Diary room." Harry nodded and walked out of the diary room carrying the basket of Chocolates.

Evening

That evening, all the housemates were in the sitting area, eating chocolates.

"Good job on winning Harry" Charlotte said "If Draco won, he wouldn't be sharing these chocolates. He would be stuffing his face with the whole lot."

"Whatever" replied Draco who was still in a strop from losing the race. Charlotte rolled her eyes and chucked a rolo at Draco's head.

"That's it" he roared "I'm going to bed, better than being around you bunch of losers." Lucius walked up to Charlotte and glared at her.

"You best be careful of who you are messing with my girl" he threatened "because you are messing with the wrong people." He walked off into the bedroom and Charlotte just rolled her eyes.

"Take no notice of him" Ron reassured her "the malfoys are a bunch of no good misfits who think they are better than everyone else."

"Don't worry about me" Charlotte replied "I'm not scared of them, not scared at all." Ron nodded and offered Charlotte a creamy milk yum yum chocolate.

"Maybe just one" Charlotte replied with a giggle and taking it from Ron. While the other Housemates ate chocolates, Draco and Lucius were both in the bedroom, sulking.

Coming up in chapter twelve, Lockhart bugs everyone with his too chirpy attitude, Big brother reveals a new secret room plus Draco let's the animals loose, that's all to come next.


	12. Day ten

Day ten

Morning

When all the housemates were sat at the breakfast table that morning, Lockhart came breezing in the breakfast area with a huge grin on his face.

"Good morning everybody, isn't it a lovely day" he said chirply as he sat in between Draco and Voldemort, pouring himself a coffee.

"Is it?" Draco asked sarcasticly.

"Oh don't be like that, cheer up lad and enjoy the day" Lockhart said, ruffling Drcao's hair which pissed him off big time.

"I'd enjoy it even more if you shut up" Draco mumbled. Lockhart just smiled and put three spoonfulls of sugar in his coffee.

"Wow, you must have a sweet tooth" Ginny said.

"Three spoonfulls of sugar makes coffee as sweet as the first morning of june" Lockhart replied "but one spoonful of sugar make coffee as bland as a a rainy day." All of the other housemates stared at him with confused expressions.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" he asked.

"You're not making any sense" Charlotte replied.

"You talk like you're some old fashioned story teller from the sixteenth centrury" Vernon pointed out "can't you talk normal and not like william bloody shakespeare."

"I'm sorry my dear fellow" Lockhart said chirply. Vernon was taken aback, he had just told him off but the man was way too chirpy.

"This is big brother, last night a secret room was placed somewhere in the house and we will not tell you what it is for because it is secret" Big brother announced.

"Oooooh" Lockhart said happily "this show is so full of unexpected suprises isn't it?"

Later that morning, Lockhart was going round the house, putting potraits of himself up everywhere.

"Now this house looks really special with all my fantastic photos around" he announced to the other housemates who were all beginning to get a little sick and tired of his too chirpy attitude.

"Look, stop being too chirpy and just act normal for ruddy sake" Hagrid told him "you're creeping everyone out."

"I do apologize my dear fellow" Lockhart replied "I'll try not to be too chirpy if I am creeping everyone out."

"You can be chirpy and happy if you want to but not just too chirpy and happy. You know, just act normal like the rest of us" Ron added.

"And no talking like you come from the sixteenth centrury" Vernon pointed out.

Meanwhile, Voldemort, lucius and Snape were all sat in the snug, trying to figure out where the secret room was and what it was for.

"Maybe it's like a vault, you know the thing that muggles have in banks to store all their money, maybe it's full of cash" Snape pointed out.

"Or maybe it's a secret lair where people can go and plot for world domination, well I am going to find out where this secret room, break in and use it to complete my goals for taking over the world" Voldemort declared.

"Don't be so stupid, it's a first class bedroom for the rich and most important housemates. Maybe it's a bedroom for me and Draco and it has really posh beds and luxgurius furniture that is fit for rich people like myself" Lucius replied.

"Why can't you accept common things for once?" Snape asked.

"Because a malfoy never accepts common things" Lucius replied "it goes back many generations of the malfoy family that we never accept common things." Snape and Voldemort just nodded, slowly got up and headed to the entrance.

"Oh where are you two fools going?" Lucius asked in a pretty annoyed tone and an evil glare.

"We were just going back inside to see the other lot" Voldemort replied.

"Sit down and listen to me go on about my rich and fantastic life" Lucius ordered.

"That's the reason why we are going back indoors" Snape replied "it's kind of boring after a while."

"Do as I say" Lucius roared. Voldemort was taken aback by one of his own death eaters telling him what to do.

"Secondly Lucius, I am the one who orders you about" Voldemort replied "because I am lord Voldemort and you are my death eater servant now do as I say and allow us to go back inside the house before I crucify you."

"Yes my lord" Lucius said with a bow. Voldemort nodded and turned to Snape.

"Come along Serverus, let us go inside."

"Indeed my lord" Snape said with a bow.

Afternoon

Today the housemates were having chinese for dinner and it was the first time that Lockhart had ever tried it.

"So this food is all the way from a china?" he asked.

"Yeah" Hermione replied "infact, rice is very popular in china and they eat them with chopsticks."

"You mean these little stick things?" Lockhart asked, picking up one of the chopsticks they were eating their dinner with.

"Well duh" Draco replied "what planet do you come from anyway?"

"Why do you have to be so sarky all the time?" Ron asked "the man obviously hasn't been to china and has been busy with all wizardy things that he doesn't have time to learn about the muggle world."

"Shut up weasle breath" Draco replied. Ron ignored him and went back to his dinner. After dinner, the housemates were all sat in the front room talking about their childhoods except for Draco who had gone off into the garden.

"So,what childhood memories do you have Hermione?" Hagrid asked.

"Mine was pretty normal" Hermione replied "I went to a normal school like all the muggle kids before I went to Hogwarts."

"Why in blazes do you call non magic people muggles?" Vernon roared, slamming his fist down on the table that it shook slightly and a few forks clattered onto the floor below. Everyone else just stared at him.

"Temper temper" Lockhart muttered.

"So we don't confuse ordinary people with magic people" Hermione replied.

"Well I hate it" Vernon roared,banging his fist on the table again in fury.

"This is big brother, will vernon please come to the Diary room."

"What have I bloody done now?" Vernon raged.

"Get going to the Diary room, go on, chop chop" Umbridge said, clapping her hands. Vernon growled under his breath and made his way to the Diary room whilst Draco was stood in the garden, glaring at the animals.

"I am sick of those cute little animals, I am going to get rid of them this instance." So he sneaked over to the pen and opened the , the Rabbits, Hamsters,guinea pigs and chickens were all running around the garden as Draco went back indoors, acting like he hadn't done anything.

Meanwhile in the diary room, Vernon was being told off about his behaviour at the table.

"Big brother believes you have serious anger problems and may need some counseling to get it sorted" the voice over woman informed.

"I don't have anger issues" Vernon roared.

"That is exatly what I'm talking about" the voice over woman replied "if you want, we could gvie you money for anger management classes."

"I do not need any anger management classes" Vernon replied "the only reason why I'm so hacked off is because that witch girl Hermione called me a muggle."

"Well, That is just what magic people call non-magic people, even we big brother people have been called muggles by the wizard lot but we don't have a tantrum about it."

"Mumble grumble" Vernon replied.

"Thankyou Vernon, you may now leave the Diary room." Vernon stood up and walked out of the Diary room and into the sittign area to find all the housemates out in the garden trying to round the animals up,

"What is going on here?" he asked as he stepped out of the sliding doors.

"Some idiot has let all these animals out" George replied "and we're trying to get them all back into the pen." It took the housemates at least an hour until all the animals were back in the pen.

"Phew, that was tiring" Ron said as he collasped onto the red beanbag "who in their mental minds would let them out anyway."

"It was me" Draco declared, feeling proud of himself. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Why did you do that mr malfoy?" McGonogal asked "that was very very naughty."

"Because I hate them and I wanted to get rid of them" Draco replied "and I am proud of what I have done." Unfortunatly, his pride didn't last for long as he was punished for letting the animals out.

Evening

That evening, Voldemort, Lucius, Draco, Filch, Umbrdige, Ginny, George and Dumbledore had gone to bed. The rest of the housemates were sat in the sitting area playing a game of spin the bottle. Harry span the bottle and it landed on Ron.

"Ok Ron, truth or dare?" Harry asked.

"Truth" Ron replied.

"Just how old were you when you first used the toilet?" Harry asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Ron asked Horrified.

"You still have to answer" Charlotte said "that's the rules."

"Ok" Ron sighed "I was two when I first used the toilet."

"That is true" Fred replied "our dearest Brother Ron came out of nappies at the age of two and used the toilet." Ron could feel himself going scarlet and stood up.

"Right, I'm going to bed now" he said.

"Already, don't you want to play sping the bottle?" Hermione asked.

"No" Ron replied, shaking his head "I'm pretty tired anyway" he let out a fake yawn "I think it's time I hit the nest." And with that, he turned round and walked into the bedroom.

"He was embarresed" Fred whipsered to Harry who grinned and nodded in agreement.

"Right" said Lockhart "shall we carry on with the game?"

Coming up in chapter Thirteen, The house recieves an Computer and Voldemort becomes addicted to Ebay, the Tree of temptation sets Ron a secret task in order to receive the key to the secret room plus it's Dumbledore's Birthday and he yet again, gets drunk. That's all to come next.


	13. Day eleven

Day Eleven

Morning

Today was just a normal morning in the Big Brother house, all the housemates were fast asleep which didn't last long as the alarm went off.

"No" Ron Groaned, throwing his pillow over his head "not now, I was in the middle of a good dream, let me have an extra half an hour and then I'll wake up." As the other Housemates all got out of bed, Ron remained in his bed, pillow over his head and snoring repulsively. Hermione stood next to his bed and folded her arms in a disapproving way.

"I have never known anyone so lazy" she said as she shook her head. Fred and George stood at the end of Ron's bed and both grabbed an ankle each.

"Are you seriously going to pull him out of bed?" Hagrid asked as he walked past them towards the bathroom.

"It's the only way" George replied. The two then yanked Ron out of bed by the ankles and the three of them all landed on the floor with a thump.

"Jesus" said Ron as he rubbed his head "What did you have to go and do that for, I was getting up anyway."

"Looked like it" Fred whispered to George who snickered. Ron stood up, dusted himself off and headed towards to bathroom, only to find Hagrid having a bath.

"Sorry hagrid" Ron said, blushing and quickly shutting the bathroom door "I am going to pretend I never saw that."

Later that morning, when all the housemates were having breakfast, Dumbledore had a big announcement.

"As you lot don't know, today is my two hundred and first birthday and I was thinking that we should have a little party this evening to celebrate" he told them all.

"Happy birthday professor" Ginny said.

"Wow, is it true that magic people can age further than normal people?" Charlotte asked curiously.

"Yes my dear" Dumbledore replied.

"Wow, none magic people don't get to live up to that age, it's amazing" Charlotte replied.

Meanwhile, Draco noticed that there was a fifteen inch screen Dell PC located in the corner of the sitting area.

"Hey you guys I don't mean to panic you" he told everybody.

"That would be a first" Harry muttered sarcastically.

"There is a robot in the sitting area and I think it has come to disintegrate us all" Draco told them.

"What are you talking about my son?" Lucius asked his son. Draco pointed the PC to the other housemates and they all stood up and slowly made their way towards the PC.

"Do you think it's alive?" Ron whispered.

"I don't know" Ginny whispered back.

"Look, there's a button" Snape said, pointing at the on button.

"I am going to switch it on to see what happens" Voldemort said as he slowly made his way towards the PC.

"Be careful my lord, it might disintegrate you" Snape informed.

"I will" Voldemort replied. Slowly, he reached towards the on button and pressed it. The wizarding housemates except for Harry, Hermione, Vernon and Charlotte jumped in fear as the PC Sprang to life and on the screen it said "welcome to windows 7."

"It's name is windows 7" Ron whispered. Voldemort walked towards the PC and bowed to it. Harry, Hermione and Charlotte giggled.

"Greetings windows 7 and welcome to earth" Voldemort greeted "I am lord Voldemort and I come in peace. Do you come in peace or are you here to rule our planet?" The PC was unresponsive.

"Hostile are we?" Voldemort asked "well you'll have to answer my question or I will have to use Aveda kedavra on you." Hermione shook her head and sat down on the chair that was in front of the PC.

"Hermione no, you'll die" Ron yelled.

"It's not a killer Robot, it's a computer and it completely harmless" Hermione explained as she put up the internet.

"So, it's not going to disintegrate us?" Snape asked.

"No" Hermione replied. She then began explaining to the wizards, except for Harry what a computer was for.

"What is this site for?" Voldemort asked when Hermione showed them EBay.

"It's called EBay and it's a site where people can sell and buy stuff" Hermione replied.

"Interesting" said voldemort as he grabbed Hermione and sat down on the chair "I must have a look at this EBay page." He grabbed the mouse and began scrolling down the page to see what kind of stuff was sold on EBay.

"Oh this is so interesting" Voldemort said as he looked at Digital cameras "I might purchase one of these fascinating things. Now how do I do this?"

"You need to make an account but you'll also need a credit card" Hermione explained.

"very well" Voldemort replied before making a credit card appear. He then made himself an account. His user name was _ALLWORSHIPTHEDARKLORD_FOOLS._

"Now I am going to purchase one of these digital cameras and then I'm going to see if they sell alarm clocks that have a demonic laugh like the ones they have on here" Voldemort announced as he scrolled down the page.

"I think old volders has got the hang of this PC Thing" Ron whipsered to Harry.

"I hope he isn't going to hog it all the time" Hermione said "it's for all the housemates to use."

"I'm going to go for a wonder round the garden for a while" Ron said "if anyone needs me, you'll know where I'll be." He went through the sliding doors and into the garden.

"Can I have a look on the computer?" Charlotte asked, leaning over the computer chair.

"No" Voldemort yelled "I'm doing some serious shopping here. Now why don't you run along and do whatever you muggle children do." Charlotte shrugged and wondered off somewhere in the house.

Meanwhile in the Garden, Ron was tossing a tennis ball about which he had found lying in the garden when the tree of temptation began talking to him.

"Psst, Psst, Ron, it's me the tree."

"Oh my god, you're a talking tree" Ron said.

"Whatever ginger features" the tree replied "just carry on with what you're doing, don't let anyone know you're talking to the tree of temptation."

"Whatever pleases you" Ron replied as he continued to toss the tennis ball around.

"Ron, in my trunk is a bottle of laxativs, I want you to take it out and pour it into the gravy when you make the dinner this afternoon" the tree said.

"You mean that stuff that makes you, oh my god are you serious?" Ron asked.

"You know that in the Big brother house that there is a secret room and that you need a key to get in it?"

"Yeah" Ron replied.

"Well I can let you have it, if you do the task" the tree said.

"Well, what's going to happen if I don't do it" Ron replied as he threw the tennis ball in the air and caught it.

"Well, if you don't do the task, you will face the wrath of the tree of temptation" the tree replied.

"Ooookay" said Ron slowly.

"So, are you going to do it then?" the tree asked.

"I will if it invovles getting into the secret room" Ron replied.

"Good, now check to see if any of the other lot aren't watching you" the tree told him. Ron looked over to the sliding doors where he saw Charlotte, Hermione and Ginny watching him tossing the tennis ball about. Charlotte waved at him and Ron simply waved back.

"I might have to come back abit later, there's three housemates watching me at the minute" Ron replied "they might get abit suspicious."

"Ok. But come and see me alone" the tree replied "and don't tell the others or else you'll face the wrath of the tree of temptation." Ron then headed back to the house and walked back inside.

"Where did you find that tennis ball?" charlotte asked.

"I found it lying near the snug area" Ron replied "I bet some idiot through it over the wall."

"Will you lot be quiet" Voldemort yelled who was still on Ebay "can't you see I'm trying to look for demonic alarm clocks."

"Is he still on that thing?" Ron asked.

"Afraid so" Hermione sighed "he's become addicted."

Afternoon

While everyone was waiting for Ron and Lockhart do make the dinner, Lockhart was in the kitchen chopping up some carrots whilst Ron snuck into the garden to get the bottle of laxativs.

"Did anyone see you?" the tree of temptation asked him.

"No" Ron replied " they're all playing scrabble."

"Good, so you know what to do, pour it into the gravy" the tree said.

"I know" Ron replied "I'm doing it now."

"That's my boy" the tree replied "good luck." Ron then turned around and headed back into the kitchen with the bottle of laxativs hid under his t-shirt.

"Ahh, there you are Mr weasley" Lockhart said as Ron walked into the kitchen "I've just done the carrots and I've put the chicken in the oven, I've also put the cabbage on boil, is there anything you would like to do?"

"I wouldn't mind doing the gravy" Ron replied "then I could get started on the yorkshire puddings."

"Good lad Ron my boy" Lockhart replied "you do the gravy and I'll chop up some more carrots." Ron then started making the gravy and when it was done, he checked to see that Lockhart wasn't looking before pouring the laxativs into the gravy and stirring it about.

One hour later, all the housemates were sat at the dining table, having the Sunday dinner and no one suspected that the gravy had laxativs added to it and no one even got suspicious when Ron didn't put gravy on his dinner because some of them knew he didn't like gravy much.

"You are really a good cook Ron" Harry said.

"Thanks" Ron replied. Voldemort was the first person to feel the side affects of the laxativs because he got a rumbling sensation in his stomach.

"Oh, I need to visit the bathroom" Voldemort said as he dived out of his chair and ran into the bathroom. Not long after, Draco was also affected and ran to the bathroom door, banging on it.

"Hurry up Voldemort" Draco yelled as he banged on the door "I need to use the bathroom now." As Ron waited for the next person to be affected, he noticed that none of the others seemed to be affected by his secret ingredient, infact, they all seemed to be enjoying it.

"Huh" Ron muttered "they should be all queing up at the bathroom door by now." He looked down at the bottle of laxativs he was still had hid under his t-shirt and realised that he hadn't poured the whole contents in. After dinner, Voldemort had finished on the toilet and was now back on Ebay whilst Draco was the one on in the toilet. Ron had gone back into the garden and sat in the snug area when the tree of temptation started talking to him again.

"Pssssst, psst, Ron it's me the tree."

"Oh it's you again" Ron said.

"what was all that about, I was expecting all the housemates to be affected by your secret ingredient but it only affected two, that geezer who looks like a snake and the blonde moron who struts around like he owns the place and the rest couldn't get enough of your special gravy, idiot" the tree explained "anyway, you gave it your best shot, so I'm going to give you another chance."

"what's that?" Ron asked.

"Tonight, when everybody is in bed, I want you to wake them up every hour by yelling into this mini megaphone for at least ten minutes that I've got in my trunk."

"Are you serious?" Ron replied who was now chuckling.

"yes I am you idiot" the tree replied "now check that none of the housemates are looking then take the mini megaphone." Ron looked over at the glass sliding doors to see that no one was watching this time before gettign the mini megaphone.

"If you do this right, you will receive the key to the secret room" the tree explained "but if you screw this one up, you will face the wrath of the tree of temptation, now piss off."

Evening

That evening, the housemates were holding a birthday party for dumbledore who seemed to be getting carried away with the champagne.

"Take it easy proffesor" Harry said "remember what happened last time you had an alcoholic drink." But it was too late because Dumbledore was already drunk.

"Shove it up you bazooka, it's my birthday" he slurred in Harry face's who just simply shrugged it off. While the housemates were trying to get Dumbledore to calm down, Ron went into the bedroom and hid the mini megaphone under his pillow.

"It's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to, drunk if I want to" a drunken Dumbledore sang as he stood on the coffee table doing the can can.

"Will someone calm him down" Draco yelled as dumbledore kicked two teacups off the table "he's damaging Big brother property." Dumbledore began doing the can can faster and the coffee table collasped under his weight weight.

"Now he's done it" Hermione said, burying her face in her hands. Dumbledore was then summoned to the Diary room.

"Now no one go anywhere" he said to the other houemates ina drunken manner "this party isn't over yet." Whilst he was in the diary room, Dumbledore was told to calm down abit and not dance around on the furniture.

"Sorry Big brother my friend" he slurred as he sloped around in the chair "I will be a good wizard tonight." A few hours later, all the housemates were asleep. One hour later, Ron switched on the mini megaphone and began singing into it.

"Is this the real life, is this just fantasy, caught in a land slide, no escape from reality" he sang. Straight away, all the housemates woke up.

"What's the big idea ron?" Ginny asked sleepily. Ron ignored and continued to sing bohiem rhapsody for at least ten minutes bofore switching the mini megaphone off and going to sleep.

"Thankyou" said Hermione. One hour later, Ron began singing into the megaphone again and continued to do this every hour all night.

"If he doesn't quit it, I am going to shove that megaphone down his throat" Draco raged as Ron sung the I was working on the rail road song.

Coming up in chapter fourteen, Ron recieves the key to the secret room and is allowed to choose one housemate to use the room with him,the housemates take part in a quiz plus Voldemort is banned from the Big brother computer for looking at innapropriate websites, that's all to come next time folks so stick around.


	14. Day twelve

Day Twelve

Morning

All night, Ron had been waking everyone up every hour and kept them all awake by singing a different song every hour for ten minutes. By the time the alarm went off,the housemates were all cranky.

"You really are going the right way for a good old walloping weasley" Draco hissed as they headed to the breakfast table "what was with the big idea of waking us all up everyhour?" Ron turned to Draco and pretented to look confused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Ron lied.

"Oh don't pretend you don't know" Vernon snapped "you kept waking up everyhour and singing into that mini-megaphone and where did you get that mini megaphone anyaway?"

"No idea, I found it under my bed last night and I was going to ask Big brother about it" Ron lied again.

"But you kept singing in it" Snape barked.

"Ah yes, you see, I was dreaming that I was on what the muggles call the X factor and I think I must have been singing in my sleep because I kept coming back to audition, that must explain why I was singing everyhour" Ron explained. After breakfast, Voldemort was back on the Computer again and he was looking on facebook this time.

"Are you going to let the other housemates use the computer one of these days?" Hermione asked.

"Never" Voldemort replied "this computer is mine, all mine, muhahaha."

"Suit yourself you weirdo" Hermione replied as she walked away.

"Suit yourself you weirdo" Voldemort said in a mocking voice before setting himself a facebook account. Ron was sat on the sofa, reading Big brother monthly magazine when Hermione plonked herself next to him.

"You ok lover boy?" she asked before kissing him on the cheek.

"Yeah, I'm alright" Ron replied.

"So, where do you reckon that mini-megaphone came from?" Hermione asked. Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe it belonged to one of the previous housemates that were here before us and they left it behind. I must have not noticed it until last night" he explained.

"Well, maybe you could ask Big brother about it later" Hermione suggested.

"I will do" Ron replied. Suddenly, Ron saw a black cat sniffing around the garden.

"Where did that cat come from?" Ron asked, heading over to the sliding doors.

"I think Mrs norris has invited a mate over" George suggested.

"Well I'm going to get rid of it" Ron said as he stepped out of the doors "it might eat the hamsters or something ." Ron then headed over to the cat and picked it up.

"How did you get in here" he asked the cat "you're not a housemate." He chucked the cat over the garden wall and was about to head back into the house when the tree of temptation started talking to him again.

"Psst,psst,Ron, it's me, the tree."

"Oh it's you again" Ron said.

"What you did last night was awesome" the tree said "I liked how you kept waking the other lot by singing and how you made out that you were sleep singing."

"Well it was the only excuse I could come up with" Ron replied.

"Nice one" the tree replied "the tree of temptation is very pleased with your work so I'm going to let you have the key to the secret room and you're allowed one housemate to use the room with you."

"But what should I say if they ask about the key?" Ron asked.

"Say you found it lying around or something, use your thick head" the tree replied "and don't tell anyone about the task or that you've been having a conversation with the tree because if you do, you'll face the full wrath of the tree of temptation."

"Yeah I know" Ron replied as he got the key from the trunk.

"Good" the tree said "now piss off." Ron didn't say anything, he just turned around and headed back into the house with the key to the secret room and sat down next to Hermione.

"What's that you got there?" she asked, indicating the key that Ron was holding .

"Oh that, I found it in the snug" Ron lied "I'm trying to figure out what it is for?" Hermione took the key from Ron and examined it.

"Do you think it could be the key to the secret room?" Hermione asked.

"Maybe" Ron replied "we could try it." So the two lovebirds got up and headed to a door dubbed "secret room" on the front.

"put the key in then" Hermione said. Ron put the key in the keyhole and it was a perfect fit. Ron turned the key and it unlocked. Ron put his hand on the door and it swung open to reveal a room with a tv, a pull out sofa bed, a soda stream, a cd player,a mini fridge and a really posh carpet. Ron and Hermione stepped into the secret room.

"Greetings Ron weasley and Hermione granger" boomed a scottish voice "welcome to the secret room, my name is Jeff and I am the creator of the secret room."

"Oh that voice is so scary" Ron said "I think I'm having a heart attack." Hermione gave Ron a weird look as the scottish voice continued.

"Since you both have discovered the secret room, only the two of you can use the secret room, you must not allow any of the other housemates access to the secret room plus you must always keep the key to the secret room on you".

"So, erm, Jeff?" Hermione asked "what is the purpose of this room?"

"Good question" Jeff replied "whilst you are in this room, you get to spy on your fellow housemates by using the tv on the wall."

"Now that I like?" Ron replied "do we get to see into the diary room and listen to what the other housemates are saying about each other?"

"Excatly" Jeff replied.

"Nice one" Ron replied. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You can use the secret room any time you like, but remember, do not let any of the other housemates use this room or else Jeff will be very very sad with you." The voice then vanished and Ron turned to hermione.

"So, you want to do some spying?" Ron asked Hermione with a mischievous look on his face.

"Maybe later" Hermione replied "I'm going to see what Ginny is up to."

Afternoon

While the housemates where sat in the garden gossiping, Voldemort was on the computer curiosly looking at porno sites.

"Wow, that is really really fascinating" he said as he looked at pictures of naked ladies.

"This is big brother, will lord Voldemort please come to the Diary room."

"Oh my god, what have I done now?" Voldemort grumbled as he got up from the chair and headed into the Diary room and plonked himself in the chair.

"Hello Voldemort"

"Whatever" Voldemort replied.

"Voldemort,just now you were looking at innapropriate sites on the big brother computer."

"So" Voldemort replied.

"Voldemort you have also not allowed any of the other housemates to use the computer, big brother has no choice but to ban you from using the computer as you are looking at innapropriate websites and not allowing your fellow housemates access to the computer."

"That sucks" Voldemort replied "and I just made myself a facebook account on that thing and I was going to buy a box of chocolates from Ebay. That sucks big time man."

"Thankyou Voldemort, you may now leave the diary room." Huffing, Voldemort got up from his seat and went back into the house. A little while later, Big brother had told all the housemates to gather in the living room as an announcment was being made.

"Hello housemate, later this aftenoon, you will all be taking part in a quiz, you have ten minutes to pick a quiz master and your teams,when you have decided who your quiz master is, big brother will call the quiz master to the Diary room to hand him or her a list of questions."

"Who should we choose for quiz master?" Harry asked.

"I reckon I should be quiz master" Voldemort said "I'm the one who rules over you pathetic fools."

"In your dreams snakey" George muttered.

"What about Dumbledore?" Ginny suggested "he would be great as quiz master."

"Oh stop miss weasley" Dumbledore replied, blushing slightly.

"Ok, whoever wants Dumbledore as quiz master, raise your hands" Ron announced, everyone except for Voldemort, Lucius, Draco and umbridge raised their hands.

"ok, if you don't want Dumbledore to be quiz master, raise your hands" Ron said, Voldemort, Lucius, Draco and umbridge raised their hands.

"I'm sorry, but more people voted for Dumbledore to be quiz master" Ron announced "ok Dumbledore is the quiz master."

"Well, I guess I could give it a shot" Dumbledore replied.

"OI BIG BROTHER"Fred yelled "WE HAVE CHOSEN THE QUIZ MASTER."

"God, do you have to shout" Draco hissed "asshole."

"This is Big brother, will Albus Dumbledore please come to the Diary room and will Draco Malfoy please watch his language." Dumbledore stood up and walked to the diary room to retrieve the questions for the quiz while the housemates sorted themselves out into teams.

A while later,the housemates were placed into three teams whilst Dumbledore took his place at the quizmasters stand.

"Good afternoon fellow housemates and welcome to the ultimate, big brother quiz, I Albus Dumbledore am your quiz master and I will be reading out the questions, if you think you know the answer, hit the buzzer on your table,shout out the answer and I will tell you if it is right or not. Ok question one, what is the capital of france?"

"Australia" Draco yelled, hitting the buzzer.

"I'm sorry Mr malfoy, the correct answer is paris" Dumbledore replied.

"For god sake" Draco muttered "smart ass."

"Ahem, may I continue?" Dumbledore asked, looking at Draco who just rolled his eyes in reponse.

"Very well, question two,what is the longest river in the world?"

"Amazon river" Charlotte piped up.

"Correct, one point to your team." Charlotte's team cheered and high fived.

"Ok question three, what is Draco Malfoy's biggest fear?"

"Oh my god" Draco gasped "you're such an ass Dumbledore"

"Cute fluffy animals" Ron shouted, hitting the buzzer.

"Correct" Dumbledore replied.

"I'm commiting suicide tonight" Draco announced "oh by the way I was being sarcastic."

"Ahem" Dumbledore said "question four, how tall is ruebeus hagrid?"

"Can I answer that?" Hagrid asked.

"No, it has to be another housemate,so how tall is hagrid?"

"Eight foot two" Harry answered.

"Correct, another point to your team" Dumbledore said. Voldemort rolled his eyes.

"This quiz is boring" he muttered to snape who agreed.

"Ok question five, what animal does lord Voldemort moslty resemeble?"

"I'm going to kill you old man" Voldemort raged, going to hit Dumbledore only to be held back by Snape and Lucius.

"A snake" Charlotte yelled as she hit the buzzer. Voldemortgave her an evil glare,his red eyes glowing in fury and anger.

"I will kill you too, little girl" he hissed. Charlotte just gave him the whatever sign.

The quiz went on for almost two hours and when it was over, it was revealed that Charlotte's team which featured, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, McGonogal, Harry and Hagrid where declared the winners.

"This is Big Brother, the quiz is now over, the winning team will be treated to a party in the task room." The winning team cheered while the other teams groaned in a dissapointment.

"Will Charlotte's team please make their way to the task room and the other housemates must remain in the house." So Charlotte's team headed into the task room to have their winning party along with Dumbledore whilst the rest of the housemates where forced to remain in the house.

"I hope you are not going to get drunk and show yourself up again like last night" McGonogal warned Dumbledore as they entered the task room.

"Do not worry my dear McGonogal, I will be very sensible for this party" Dumbledore assured her.

"Oh my god look at this place" Ginny squealed in exictment "party rings, Burgers, balloons, fizzy drinks." Ron helped himself to a burger and Hermione put on the music. Soon, the winning team where eating and dancing away to lady gaga.

"I want your loving, I want your revenge, you and me can write a bad romance" Ginny and Charlotte sang "oh oh oh oh oh, caught in a bad romance."

"I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel you girl, you know I'm on tonight my hips don't lie and i'm starting to feel it right" Ron sang as he swayed his hips about.

Evening

The party had gone for four hours and when it was over,the winning team made their way back into the house and were greeted by a bunch of jelous faces.

"How was the party?" Umbridge asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"It was ok" Hermione replied with a shrug. The winning team went into the bedroom and got into bed.

"Man I am beat" Ron yawned as he climbed into his fire proof bed and instantly fell asleep.

""I bet the party must have really tired him out" Ginny said "and I don't blame him, I'm pretty tired myself."

"Will you lot shut up I'm trying to get my beauty sleep" Voldemort yelled "god you lot are doing my head in today."

"Ugly sleep more like" Charlotte muttered to Ginny who giggled. A couple of hours later, all of the housemates were in bed and they were all tired after a really busy day.

Coming up in chapter fifteen, it is victorian day and the Housemates are all dressing up like victorians and doing victorian stuff, how will they all cope? Find out in the next chapter folks.


	15. Day thirteen

Day thirteen

Morning

That morning in the Big brother house, the Housemates were all up before the demonic laughter alarm went off to discover that the house had a victorian theme to it.

"What the hell is going on here?" Voldemort demanded "have we all been abducted by aliens and taken back in time to a victorian version of Big brother or something."

"That is stupid" Harry pointed out "it's probably part of a task or something."

"This is Big brother, will all the housemates gather in the living room." All the housemates, except for Voldemort who refused to have anying to do with what Big brother had planned for today.

"This means you to Voldemort" the voice over man instructed. The dark lord grumbled and flopped on the red beanbag.

"Housemates, during today, Big brother is holding a victorian theme day, all of you will be dressing up like victorian people and doing victorian things" the voice over man announced. All of the housemates looked confused and began discussing what big brother had just told them.

"There are costumes situated in the task room, you must all go in there, pick out your costumes and wear them until 12am this evening." So, all the housemates went into the task room, put on their costumes and headed back into the house. The girls were dressed like victorian ladies and the boys were dressed like victorian gentlemen.

"You know Voldemort, that victorian look suits you" George pointed out as Fred snickered behind him.

"Shut your mouth weasley" Voldemort growled "this is the most stupidest thing I have ever have to do in this stupid house."

"I agree" Draco replied as he attempted to straighten the top hat he was wearing. About an hour later, the housemates were walking around doing victorian activities. Hermione and Ginny where in the snug, churning butter.

"I can't believe they used to make butter like this back in the olden days, it's making my arms tired" Ginny said. She stopped for a moment to massage her arms before churning again.

"So, how are things going with you and Ron?" she asked.

"Yeah pretty good" Hermione replied.

"Hmm just think, you could end up being my sister in law" Ginny joked.

"It's still early days yet Ginny, me and Ron are taking things nice and slow at the moment" Hermione replied.

"Hi guys" Charlotte greeted as she arrived "what you guys up to?"

"Churning butter" Ginny replied "would you mind just churning mine for me Charlie while I go to the toilet?"

"Ok" Charlotte replied as she churned Ginny's butter for her whilst she went to the in the house, Draco, Lucius and Voldemort were in the bedroom, polishing horseshoes.

"This has got to be the most ridiculas thing big brother has ever come up with" Voldemort complained "why have we got to sit in stupid outfits and polish this horseshoes?"

"Because that's what they used to do in the olden days my lord" Lucius replied.

"Silence" Voldemort barked "how dare you answer me back."

"I wasn't, I was just saying" Lucius replied.

"I said silence" Voldemort thundered. Draco and Lucius simply looked at each other before going back to polishing horseshoes.

"Right, I've had enough" Voldemort said as he threw his horseshoe down and stood up.

"Where are you going my lord?" Lucius asked.

"To complain" Voldemort replied as he headed to the bedroom door.

"And I thought I was stubborn" Draco said.

Meanwhile, Voldemort had gone to the Diary room to complain.

"Hello voldemort" the voice over man in the diary room greeted "how can Big brother help you today."

"I'm am absolutely hating this victorian themed day you are doing today today, it is absolutely pathetic" Voldemort moaned.

"Voldemort, are you not liking the victorian day?" the voice over man asked.

"Yes I am, I hate it, I think this is one of the stupidest things you have ever done" Voldemort ranted "and I hate this stupid outfit I am wearing, I am a dark lord, not a victorian gentlemen, I'm not even a gentlemen, if I was a gentlemen, I'd comitte suicide right here in the diary room at this very minute, and the big brother producers can drag my body from the diary room, out of the big brother house and dump it in the nearest river for all I care because I am not enjoying my time here."

"Voldemort, Big Brother suggests you stop complaining and enjoy yourself.

"I haven't finished yet" Voldemort raged "I hate this place."

"Thankyou Voldemort, you may now leave the diary room." Voldemort growled and went back into the house and back into the bedroom.

"Hey grumpy" Fred teased.

"Leave me alone" Voldemort snapped then .

"Oooooh" the twins sang "stroppy"

"I'll show you stroppy if you two don't get lost" Voldemort raged. The twins shrugged and walked out of the bedroom and into the front room.

"What's going on in there?" Charlotte asked. She was doing some sewing.

"Old Voldemort's in a strop" Fred replied.

"Nothing new there then" Charlotte replied "what was he in a strop about this time?"

"Who knows" George said "he just came walking into the bedroom with a face like a smacked bottom." Charlotte nodded and continued with her sewing.

Afternoon

It had been two hours since Voldemort had a huge strop in the diary room and he was still in a strop.

"When are you ever going to be happy Voldemort?" Hagrid asked.

"Let me see hmmmm, never" Voldemort replied sarcasticly "now leave me alone you overgrown moron." The Dark lord stormed off out into the garden, into the snug and threw a temper tantrum. He threw the cushions about, tipped the sofas upside town, kicked a statue over, ripped some cushions open, spat on the floor, kicked the walls, threw wet loo roll on the garden wall, gave the cameras the double finger, ripped the flowers out,ate some grass, smeared butter on the snug walls,stomped his feet and bellowed like a gorilla. After he had finished, he sat up against the garden wall and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Ahh, that's better" he sighed.

"This is big brother, will voldemort please come to the diary room."

"Ford goodness sake" Voldemort mumbled as he stood up and headed back into the house towards the diary room.

"Hello voldemort"

"Yo" replied Voldemort.

"Voldemort, just now, Big Brother has witnessed throwing a temper tantrum in the garden and behaviour like that is unacceptable, you must tidy up the garden and then big brother will offer you conselllign to help with your anger issues."

"I do not have an anger problem" Voldemort denied.

"Then what was the whole rage session you had in the garden just now, something for fun. Voldemort, you need conselling and big brother is willing to get it for you. Are you willing to accept this offer?"

"Let me see, no" Voldemort replied.

"Very well, leave the diary room and tidy up the destruction you have just caused in the garden."

About an hour later, all the house mates where looking out of the windows, watching Voldemort tidy up the destruction he had caused.

"I never saw him go off like that" Harry said "he must be having a bad day."

"Let's just leave him alone, he's a mardy git" Ron pointed out "he bought it on himself the idiot. " After a while, the housemates were getting bored of watching Voldemort tidy up the garden and went back to doing victorian activities. Two hours later, Voldemort had finished tidying up the garden and came back into the house.

"Have you learned your lesson my lord?" Draco asked.

"I suppose so" Voldemort replied "I'm off to bed."

"Already, it's only 3:00pm" said Ginny. Voldemort ignored her comment and went into the bedroom

Evening

Voldemort had been in bed for six hours. The housemates who were still up where still walking around in their victorian costumes and would be changing into their normal clothes at midnight. Ron was out in the garden, riding a horse and carriage in circles.

"You look so ridiculas like that" Harry said as he watched Ron take a ride.

"Do you want to have a go?" Ron asked. Harry nodded,got on the carriage pulled the reins and the horse then trotted around the garden. When midnight finally arrived all the housemates minus voldemort went into the task room to get changed before all going into the bedroom to settle down for the night.

"I've really enjoyed today" Charlotte said "I hope we get to do more stuff like this later on."

"yeah it's been alright" Ginny agreed "it's a shame not all of us enjoyed it." She glared in Voldemort's direction who was still sock on.

"Ok, let us all switch the lights off and go to sleep" Lockhart said "and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning."

"You weird ass" Vernon pointed out.

Coming up in chapter sixteen, it is the first eviction and Snape and Draco are the ones up, but which one will go,find out in the next chapter.


	16. Day fourteen

Day fourteen

Morning

Today in the big brother house was eviction day and Snape and Draco were the ones who were up for eviction, but neither of them knew which one was going.

"I hope you got voted out" Hermione told Draco at the breakfast table "you have rude manners."

"At least I don't have bushy hair" Draco retaliated. Hermione scoffed at him and pointed out that her hair was curly, not bushy.

"Well, it was when we first started at hogwarts" Draco snapped back "and I can still call it bushy if i want to." Hermione rolled her eyes and went back to her egg on toast. Charlotte picked up a big brother monthly magazine and began flicking through it.

"Anything interesting?" Ginny asked the twelve year old girl as she quickly flicked through the magazine.

"Not really" Charlotte replied as he set the magazine back down and went back to her breakfast "nothing interesting has happened recently,I bet my novel will be when it's finished."

"Oh, so now are you getting on with your school project so far then?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, I woke up really early this morning and I did some more on my novel" Charlotte replied "the little girl has just moved into the house that has wizards living there and she get's really nervous but they make her feel welcome."

"Sounds interesting dear" McGonogal told her "I'm sure you'll get good grades at your school."

"Oh I know I will, I'm quite clever at school work. My mum reckons I could make it to university in five years time" Charlotte said. Later that morning, Snape announced that he was going to the diary room to find out when the eviction was taking place.

"I'm sure they'll let us know when it's eviction time" Harry said.

"Well I'm not waiting around, I want to find out now" Snape barked before he walked over to the diary room and plonked himself in the chair.

"Good day Serverus" spoke the voice in the diary room.

"Whatever" Snape sighed, folding his arms.

"Serverus, what can Big brother do for you?"

"I want to know when the eviction will be taking place?" Snape asked.

"Severus, today's eviction will be taking place later this afternoon."

"Right, and can you tell me who is gettign evicted. is it me or Draco?" Snape asked.

"That infomation is confidential Severus and we cannot give that infomation out until the eviction takes place."

"What does that mean in non-big brother language then?" Snape asked, turning sarcastic.

"it means that we cannot tell you who is getting evicted so you'll just have to wait."

"Oh" Snape replied.

"Is that all Severus."

"I suppose so" Snape grumbled.

"Thankyou severus, you may now leave the diary room." Snape grumbled some more and stomped out of the diary room.

"Hey stroppy, how did it go?" George asked as fred snickered next to him.

"They refused to tell me who was getting evicted" snape groaned as he sat down on the sofa.

"And that's bad is it?" Hermione asked.

"I want to know if I'm getting evicted so I can get out of this madhouse" he snapped "I don't like it here at all, I haven't liked it here since I set foot in this god forsaken house."Hermione rolled her eyes and went to sit with Ginny and Charlotte at the opposite side of the living room.

"What's the matter with him now?" Ginny whispered, nodding in Snape's direction.

"He wanted to know who was getting evicted but Big brother wouldn't tell him so he's got the strop on" Hermione explained.

"He's got strop on over that?" Charlotte indicated.

"He wanted to know if he was getting evicted because he hates it here" Hermione replied.

"So that's why he's always been grumpy since we first came here?" Charlotte asked.

"He's always like that" Ginny told her "even at our school, he hates all the houses except his own."

"Houses?" Charlotte asked.

"Yeah, we have four different houses at our school and there's a head of house, there's Gryffindor, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and slytherin. Snape's the head of Slytherin house so he likes the students more in slytherin than the other studnets who are in the three other houses" Hermione explained.

"Well that isn't fair" Charlotte pointed out "does he show the other houses that he hates them?"

"He always taking points away from Gryffindor for the smallest thing" Ginny pointed out.

"That's not fair" Charlotte said "not fair at all."

Afternoon 

The housemates were all sat around the house, doing random things when the Big brother announcer told them to gather on the sofas for the eviction.

"Finally" Snape grumbled "let's see if it's me or Draco who is leaving today." After everybody had gathered in the living room,the announcer spoke up.

"Housemates,this is Big brother,you are on live tv,please do not swear" the announcer spoke "the votes have been counted and verified and the first person to be evicted from the Big brother house is...,Severus Snape."

"Thankyou" Snape said in relief.

"Severus Snape,you have ten seconds to say your goodbyes,then we're coming to get you" the announcer said.

"Can I just leave now?" Snape grumbled.

"Ok,snape you have been leave the big brother house" the announcer spoke. Snape stood up and quickly headed to the entrance .

"Wow, he must have really hated it here then if he couldn't wait to get out" Charlotte implied after Snape had left the house.

"Yeah, he seemed quite glad to be out of here" Ron agreed.

"It's not fair" Draco moaned "why couldn't have I gone with him too?"

"Oh stop complaining, you get to stay in here for longer" Hermione told him.

"That's what I'm afraid off" Draco grumbled.

"Housemates,this is Big brother" the announcer spoke up "big brother would like to inform all housemates that the secong eviction will be taking place on day twenty two,the two housemates to be up for eviction will be decided on day sixteen. That is all for now."

"Right, now that's all over, I'm going to finish off my crossword" Vernon said.

"I'm going on the pc" Voldemort announced. Everyone looked at him like he had grown an extra head on his shoulders.

"What?" he snapped "why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Didn't Big brother ban you from using the computer because you didn't let any of us use it too?" hermione asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Oh yeah" Voldemort grumbled as he sat down on the sofa, arms folded "guess I'll have to sit here, bored."

"Why don't you try doing some crossword puzzles" Vernon suggested.

"Shut up, fatso" Voldemort snapped. Harry who was sat in the corner of the room, stifled a giggle which went unnoticed by Vernon.

"What are you laughing at,boy?" he demanded.

"Nothing"Harry replied,putting on a straight face. Vernon eyed Harry suspiciously before going back to his crossword.

Evening

That evening, everybody was asleep in the bedroom except for Ginny, Hermione and Charlotte who were in the front room,talking.

"So, how long did you turn Twelve before you came into the house then?" Hermione asked Charlotte.

"Three months" Charlotte replied "I celebrated my twelvth birthday three months before I came into the house. I had a birthday party but my stupid older sister ruined it by getting really drunk and insulted everybody so my parents had to cancel the party because no one wanted to stay and be insulted by my drunk, eighteen year old sister."

"Your sister sounds like a right rebel" Ginny said "and how often does she get drunk?"

"Every single weekend, she goes out every saturday and sunday night then she gets bad hangover the morning after" Charlotte replied. The three girls had been talking for the past hour un til they had finally decided to go to bed.

"I'm suprised your parents haven't chucked her out with the way she behaves" Hermione said as she and Charlotte got into their beds.

"My dad has told her that she should get her own place now that she's Eighteen but she refuses to budge" Charlotte explained,rubbing her now tired eyes.

"Looks like you could do with some shut eye" Hermione teased as Charlotte managed a small, tired smile.

"I think you're right" the younger girl agreed before laying her head on the pillow and closing her eyes. It wasn't long before Hermione did the same.

Coming up in chapter seventeen, Draco is set a secret task by the Tree of temptation but he refuses to take part and tells Lucius about the Tree. That's all to come next.


End file.
